With Love and Gratitude

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Music for Sex or Sleep: 4 Tips for Love or Sweet Dreams

Whether married or single music helps soothe one's spirit.

With temperatures in the single digits in our part of the world, the fireplace and new classical piano recordings were reminders of how to de-stress, relax, and reignite love. Music may be the secret to romance in 2013. While women’s magazines keep touting unlimited ways to spice up sex and “50 Shades of Grey” has become hot mommy porn, perhaps it is time to rethink the power of music  Here is promising news from a survey conducted by music psychologist Daniel Mullensiefen of Goldsmith's London .

It seems that 2,000 people in the United Kingdom have identified three songs that apparently entice and arouse.  In attempting to determine the relationship between music, romance, and sex, Spotify, the Swedish digital music service that commissioned the study, learned that the three top songs for passion were “Time of My Life” from “Dirty Dancing,” “Sexual Healing,” and “Bolero.”

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Music better than sex

Here was the biggest surprise. Approximately one in three respondents said that “Bohemian Rhapsody” might be “better than sex.” (For all of you wishing for a good night's sleep alone, keep that in mind. And see what Dr.Carl Bazil has to say about sleep - 12 Tips to Sleeping Like a Baby.)

While the musical classics for romance still go to composers Chopin, Debussy, Puccini and Tchaikovsky, the study found that men will adjust their musical tastes if it means more loving.

These days bedrooms have been invaded by cell phones, iPads, iPods,  laptops, and the ever growing size of television screens. Here is an all too common scenario. Two people work. They get home. Answer personal e-mail. Receive one more call from the office, perhaps in the middle of dinner. Then both fall into bed exhausted. Even if the couple had planned a loving night, the first touch goes to the channel surfer.

And for single women -- the television as a way of falling alseep is a major culprit in keeping you tossing and turning whereas music is soothing.

Musical note for Baby Boomers

Here is an interesting note that Baby Boomers might appreciate: Music plays a positive role even for people with dementia, too. At a screening of the documentary “Alive Inside” we saw social worker Dan Cohen bringing iPods to nursing homes. Those who did not usually speak sang. Those with walkers danced. 

Four bedtime thoughts for couples

To reignite passion, here are some thoughts about the power of words, the effect of feng shui,  musical seduction, and silky lingerie.

  • Word power: The most effective way to keep passion alive is to start by thinking and acting graciously. Speak words of love and speak lovingly. Give praise often. Ask yourself and answer the question: “What will my day look like if I start it and end it by thinking loving thoughts about my partner?”
  • Feng shui: Turn your bedroom into a place of calm passion using the feng shui principle of no clutter. Banish all non-essentials, ranging from untidy bookshelves to laundry baskets. Also remove all computers or televisions. 
  • Music that enchants: Select music that you both enjoy, particularly mood music with no words to distract. Look for classical piano, strings, or a full orchestra. Begin the music even before you cross the threshold.
  • Enticing lingerie: Never underestimate the power of silk.

Beautiful dreamers and single women

Whether you are single by choice, looking for love, or too overwhelmed to think about romance, you might consider these tips as a way to help you towards more content sleep.

  • Word power of gratitude: Be grateful for yourself each night  before you hit the pillow. Think of three instances in the day for which you are grateful – even if it’s a challenge
  • Feng shui just for you: Make your bedroom work for you.  Follow the same principles as above but perhaps make a corner for yourself that has nothing more than a comfortable meditation chair with a night stand nearby for penning notes in a journal.
  • Music that soothes: Before going to bed listen to classical piano, spa music, the sounds of the ocean.
  • Beautiful nightgowns: Just because you might sleep alone doesn’t mean you can’t go to bed feeling beautiful.  

The beautiful-to-bed philosophy was from our Aunt Virginia. From the time we were teens, she sent us to bed wearing a silk nightgown, a strand of pearls, and a splash of Joy perfume because, she reasoned: “You never know who you will meet in your dreams.”

Whether for passion or pleasure, sex or sleep music is magical.

Copyright 2013 Rita Watson/ All Rights Reserved 

Photo credit: Plucky Strings! (www.plunkystrings.com) the website of harpist Emily White in Carroll County, Maryland.

 

Rita Watson is an Associate Fellow at Yale's Ezra Stiles College and a columnist for The Providence Journal.

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