With Love and Gratitude

A blessing a day keeps the doc away

3 Reasons Why Soft Porn for Women Is Ho-Hum

Soft porn is an easy way to "peak" women's fantasies as it has done for years.

When I stopped into my local book shop a few weeks ago, a neighbor of mine was reading from her newest romance novel.  Of course I bought a copy of Trouble Me by Laura Moore. I was hoping it would be a mindless book in which my imagination could run wild and fill in the love scenes. But by page 31 they were stripping naked and page 33 filled in the touches and groans with literal descriptions. So much for fantasy! But of course I loved the ending.

The soft porn for women movement is really nothing new – just more openly discussed and graphically conveyed just as “sexting” has become something of a new love note. No longer content with sending e-mails or letters to boyfriends, women are discovering that the practice of transmitting provocative nude or semi-nude self-portraits via cell phones is a popular, though risky, trend – as high-profile married men have learned.

Find a Therapist

Search for a mental health professional near you.

Remember when Meghan McCain twittered her breasts? And then there was the former Miss California, Carrie Prejean, who sent a sex tape to an ex-boyfriend several years ago. He released it to the press. Why the sudden surge in passing along sexy photos and the pursuit of passion? Many attribute this to the new openness about sex into mainstream America.

How did porn became ho-hum? 

1.   Dr. Mary Muscari, an associate professor at Binghamton University, sees sexting as an extension of a society where parents grew up as part of the free-loving Woodstock generation. She further noted in Medscape’s Public Health and Prevention Journal that a survey by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy found that 20 percent of teens (22 percent of girls and 18 percent of boys) electronically sent or posted online nude or seminude photos or videos of themselves. Sexting What Your Teen May be Doing with Her Cell Phone

2.    Porn is no longer a dirty little secret of seedy store-fronts with peep shows for men. Now adult movies are available at video shops and on-line. Erotic toys and pleasure aides are available in pharmacies for those who are not averse to things that go "buzz" in the night.

In 2009 the Oprah Winfrey Show noted that “one in three consumers of online porn in our country are now women.” And this was further explored on her May 26, 2010 Show with sex-columnist Violet Blue, whose “Smart Girl’s Guide to Porn” and Alison Tyler’s “Red Hot Erotica” are two of the more popular titles. But books about sudden sex and spanking are high on the list of sought-after titles at Cleis Press.

3.  William Hurt Sledge, M.D., is the George and Esther Gross Professor of Psychiatry at Yale. For three years, while a Master at Yale’s Calhoun College, he taught a course with Dr. Ruth Westheimer in which they explored with students “Twentieth Century Family, Marriage, Intimacy, and Fulfillment.” One of the sections taught by Dr. Sledge focused on pornography and erotica.

“The Oprah show report does not move, surprise or seem newsworthy to me,” Dr. Sledge said. “If you look at the scientifically collected data (Kinsey, et al; Masters and Johnson, and others) on ‘sexual outlets’ you would find that, in general, women are doing the same things that men are, and have been doing it for a long time.”

Fifty Shades of Grey and mommy porn

The popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey should not have us wondering why women are flocking to the novel. Perhaps soft porn is an easy way to peak women’s imagination and desire for exotic sex lives.

And as for women with children — is anyone with small children wondering why this book has been dubbed mommy porn for women too exhausted for the touch that translates into sex? 50 Shades of Grey: Why 'Mommy Porn' is Hot, ABC News

Sari Cooper, LCSW , writing for Psychology Today commenting on the recent SNL Mother’s Day skit expressed what most moms really want. She essentially says that a day alone and spa pampered might be what they need to flame their passion. “Wives need a lot more time to switch hats from the role of dependable, patient mommy to insatiable, hot, horny lover.” What Do Mothers Secretly Want for Mother’s Day?

Copyright 2012 Rita Watson/ All Rights Reserved

Follow Rita Watson on Twitter @ LoveColumnisttoc at www.ritawatson.com

Have you read this columns?

Rita Watson, MPH, is an Associate Fellow at Yale's Ezra Stiles College and a columnist for The Providence Journal.

more...

Subscribe to With Love and Gratitude

Current Issue

Just Say It

When and how should we open up to loved ones?