If I could be the Valentine's Day Fairy Godmother I would wave my magic wand and send hearts and flowers sailing across the skies. Each person touched would find love, even if just for the day. I am an incurable romantic. As a teenager, Aunti taught us to think "Love." She had us wear a silk nightgown, a strand of pearls, and a splash of Joy perfume to bed each night because, we were told, "You never know who you will meet in your
dreams."
Cousin Vicky and I were so convinced that one day our Prince would come, that I grew up wanting to become a Valentine's Day maven -- rewriting the book of love and forgiveness, and creating a memory to reflect the courtly tradition.
The need for love
What does the Valentine's Day frenzy really mean? It means that on at least one day a year we want to feel loved. "The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence," says Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama and Nobel Peace Prize Laureate. Our Need for Love - His Holiness the Dalai Lama - Heal Your Life
Each February as Valentine's Day approaches I think of the words of Leo Buscaglia who said that if we are waiting for Mr. Right, the one and only, we will wait forever.
"There is no right person. We become the right person!" Leo Buscaglia Quotes
In the hustle and bustle of our overly committed lives, do we ever remember to take time to listen for love? Sometimes we need to clear our heads and hearts so that we can hear love. Perhaps this Valentine's Day, those wishing for love might want to make a promise to themselves to take a stand on clearing the path for love.
Here are 7 tips to help you find love
- Let go of worn out friendships and relationships.
- Break old patterns that really hinder your happiness.
- Take a chance on an out-of-character relationship.
- Break away from relationships that are boundary violations.
- Be more forgiving of others without losing your sense of self or your values.
- Laugh at yourself by accepting yourself.
- Forgive your love mistakes of the past and move forward with a renewed sense of dignity and conviction.
The forgiveness factor
The inability to forgive may be the single greatest barrier to love. This Cherokee story perhaps best depicts the struggle between love and anger.
A wise Cherokee, teaching his grandchild about about life tells this story:
"A fight is going on inside me. It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.
"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
"The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person too."
When his grandchild asks: "Which wolf will win?"
The wise Cherokee simply replies: "The one that you feed."
While we often hear about the role of forgiveness from church leaders, here are some thoughts on forgiveness from the Mayo Clinic. Forgiveness is not just about forgiving others, but forgiving one's self as well. Letting go of grudges and bitterness - MayoClinic.com.
If you think the love in your life is hopeless, read what Alisa Bowman tells us in "Project Happily Ever After: saving your marriage when the fairy tale falters." www.alisabowman.com.
Copyright 2012 Rita Watson/ All Rights Reserved
Follow Rita Watson on Twitter @ LoveColumnist
Have you read these articles?
8 Ways to Say I Love You
Revitalize Your Love Life with a Three Day Gratitude Plan
Four Steps to Unconditional Love via Laughter and Forgiveness
PHOTO CREDIT: Courtesy of Thomas Kaufman for Les Cartes de Belleville.
