Look At It This Way

Seeing old things in new ways.

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

How Do Straight Girls Pick Up Straight Girls?

A while back I attended the big LA EROTICA show and, as is usually the case with this event, the convention center was packed. There was row upon row of sexy lingerie, stiletto boots and acrylic heels, sex toys and sex aids, erotic travel agencies and scores of the most outrageously ravishing video stars signing autographs and posing for pictures while wearing dental floss thongs. There were also lots of stage performers and a variety of speakers and it's someone from this last group that I want to mention.

Jen Sincero (www.JenSincero.com) is the author of The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks. Her talk drew a standing-room only crowd of what appeared to include a whole bunch of straight girls. I didn't see any of them taking notes but they hung on her every word.

Jen began by saying that she always liked her own body but had no idea of just how great other girl's bodies could be. As a guy this was hardly a revelation. Getting close to a woman is one of the most fun things you can do...right up there with...actually, I can't even think of anything close. So it's not a surprise that, after she tried it, she liked it. In fact, Jen Sincero turned it into a passion and eventually, after years of research I can only imagine in my wildest dreams, she wrote her book.

What she came to learn - and share with her audience - is that women are checking out other women all the time. A sexy woman coming out of the shower is as much of a visual delight in the girl's locker-room as she would be over the wall on the men's side. So, even with two straight women, it's not all that unlikely that they will occasionally get something going. As you may have heard, several studies have shown that females think about sex far more often than do males. Strange as it may seem, women appear to have brains that are hooked on romance, sensuality and passionate play. Men need a sizable chunk of their brains for things like sports and beer so amour is all too often limited to a quick session of YaHoo. It's because of just such male/female disparities that, I would assume, Jen's talk drew such a rapt group of straight girls.

Jen's advice for those straight girls - those who were so inclined - was to begin courting other straight girls by making and then holding eye contact. This is something men don't usually do and it serves as a strike against them. A second strike against men comes from talking too much about themselves. Guys feel that laying out their life's accomplishments right at the start is the way to go; like wearing a chest-full of ribbons and medals. So a girl should begin by, instead of telling all about who you are, asking all about who she is. The worst that can happen is that you'll be rebuffed. Though women have a difficult time handling this, Practice-Practice-Practice seems to be the universal panacea.

The flip side of rejection is being approached by someone you'd rather avoid. Here Jen says she always takes being hit upon as a compliment rather than an insult and why shouldn't she? If you think about it, it's the same as being singled out as someone special. Cutting to the chase, Ms. Sincero then when to her slide show...a sort of manual guide. All I can say is, no one left half-way through.

Look At It This Way
So what's the bottom line on all this? It wasn't that many years ago when many women went through life without ever experiencing an orgasm. Good girls didn't know or want to know about such things. Then the sexual revolution hit and the personal vibrator became as common as lipstick and pantyhose. Today with Gay Rights and Same Sex Marriages grabbing all the headlines, it's not surprising that even straight girls are becoming bi-curious. Slowly they are beginning to discover that gals come in the most delightfully wrapped packages. But hey, that's something guys realized a long, long time ago.

Find a Therapist

Search for a mental health professional near you.

Stephen Benedict-Mason is a psychologist, a former university professor, syndicated newspaper columnist and radio talk-show host.

more...

Subscribe to Look At It This Way

Current Issue

Let It Go!

It can take a radical reboot to get past old hurts and injustices.