The key to success is really quite simple. Find a need and fill it. But, as is so often the case with such simple approaches, the devil turns out to be in the details. The first part, finding problems, is a piece of cake. Just tune in to one of your local talk-radio hosts. Figuring out how to solve them, the second part, is the tricky bit.
So let's consider a need shared by millions and millions of married couples - a lack of sex. Understand that I'm not referring to quantity, as most mates will eventually give in to begging and pleading. What I'm referring to is quality of the yelling and screaming kind that was enjoyed in every room of the house and on every piece of furniture before monogamy took hold. But how to fill that need? Now there's the rub.
And let us not underestimate the value of sex to one's well being. In a study reported in the British Medical Journal, the data showed that the amount of sexual activity enjoyed by a man is directly proportional to both his health and longevity. Men who reported twice as much sex were half as likely to die prematurely.
Anyway, a new and unique website - that I wish I'd thought of - is now out there. It allows individuals in search of seemingly uncomplicated extramarital affairs to find each other in cyberspace and then hook up in real space. You can visit on-line at: AshleyMadison.com.
As you might suspect, so open an approach to an issue that Americans feel should be closed up tight and double locked has been met with a plethora of publicity. The producers of Tyra, Ellen, GMA, The View, Larry King and Dr. Phil were among those who spotted pure GOLD in the topic. Here was an unequaled opportunity to titillate their audiences' filthiest fantasies while all the time providing them with a chance to feel morally superior...in short, quintessential American television. An article at Nerve.com by Jack Harrison is far more insightful. He writes an entertaining and informative account of his experiences with four women that he met through the site. In so doing, he provides a truly edifying look at examples of the almost 80% of couples who admit to cheating.
But I found myself more interested in Noel Biderman, the site's founder. Surely he'd be able to tell readers way more about the true state of monogamy in the US than Tyra, Phil and Larry put together. So I asked him:
1) How would you characterize marriage and monogamy in America?
Not only is the heterosexual marriage in decline, in that fewer and fewer people are categorized as being a part of that traditional definition, but my own personal belief is that within the coming decades, heterosexual monogamous marriages will become the minority of American marriages
2) How do you account for the success of your site?
Ashleymadison.com is catering to a human need; sex is as important to us as the air we breathe and fuel we consume, and ultimately it is not in our DNA to be monogamous.
3) How did you come up with the idea?
I came across some great research back in 2001 that indicated that 30-35% of people going to so-called single/matchmaking services were in fact attached and were using the anonymity of the internet to meet unsuspecting single people...I thought to myself, wow, wouldn't these people prefer a service where they could meet other like minded adults and be honest about their relationship status...out of that The Ashley Madison Agency (www.Ashleymadison.com ) was born.
4) What's your ratio of male to female members?
The site is about 30% female and 70% male
5) Do you ever contact members to evaluate their experiences?
Of course, we are constantly canvassing our members for new and effective ways to help them with their lives and needs.
6) What countries seem most comfortable with sexuality and/or on-line introductions?
I think that answer totally depends on what kind of service is being provided - cultures like those in Japan and France are much more liberal when it come to extramarital relationships...and of course age and gender are factors in ones willingness to pursue an online romance. Americans currently have an interesting balance between a youthful culture very open to digital dating and a societal fabric in much need of absent intimacy.
