Now that Baby Boomers have officially moved into the ranks of senior citizens, what happens when they find themselves in need of a new love and a still vital companion? A problem that didn’t exist generations ago, when the population was more static and not nearly as long lived, is now upon us. How does grandma go about finding yet another grandpa?
The good news for women is that they live longer. That’s also the bad news. There are many more mature women looking for mature men than vice versa. And because males fall apart sooner, the image of a nurse with a purse sails into view. How many brides past retirement age suddenly find themselves reemployed as caregivers? Why this should be so isn’t known. Do men work harder and so wear out sooner? Or maybe they live more recklessly, not attending to health issues while driving faster, smoking more and drinking to excess. One school of thought suggests that because females are Mother Nature’s default position (embryos start out as little girls) the male as a kind of hybrid is just naturally doomed to a shorter, less healthy life.
Anyway, all that aside, how do you go about meeting an older man? One tip is to look around for possible mates only when you’re doing something you truly enjoy. If you like cats and antiques, keep your eyes open at shows and shops. That way you’ll already have something in common with anyone you meet. There are many more males at a baseball game but how much do you really want to learn about batting averages and stolen bases? One woman told me that because men seem happiest around food, she never misses an opportunity to sit near one at an eatery and ask about the chicken.
Then too, you might want to consider visiting places with high male to female ratios. Alaska comes to mind but so do snow drifts and polar bears. My friend in Wales (Anthony Bestwick) tells me that while the ratio isn’t all that different, the society is such that it’s hard to meet available women. My wife, who knows about such things, says Tony is a real catch. Tall and handsome with humor and a full head of hair, he can fix a roof, iron a shirt, play a tune and do a dance. A perfect gentleman, he has no problem chatting up birds (as they say over there) and can pass for Prince Charles on the phone. He always fools me with that one and I’m always convinced that this time it really is HRH calling to say Hi. Yet only women who are already paired seem to frequent the standard meeting spots. Such cross-cultural differences might be good to keep in mind.
Of course, match making has now become big business complete with psychological tests and profiles, special interest classes and cruises, newspaper ads and on-line services. The village yenta has been replaced by that Ph.D. you see dressed in a lab coat and carrying a clipboard on late-night TV. But while it may have gotten more professional, don’t let anyone tell you it’s gotten any easier. The women still outnumber the men past a certain age and because the male of the species isn’t much rewarded for acquiring social skills, the pickings can be slim. For that reason, carrying a casserole to a widower might make sense. At least you know he’s been house broken.
And should you think I’m taking this lightly or that my approach is flippant, you’re dead wrong. I can trot out all sorts of statistics showing that most humans do best and feel best when they’re in a happy relationship. But who would doubt that? Yet one therapist who has years of experience working with seniors told me that because of those social skills I mentioned earlier, a woman is much better sans a man than vice versa. I can’t disagree. I was between wives once for about six minutes and didn’t like it at all. So if you’re a woman on the loose (AWOL) and content, don’t let anyone talk you out of it or tell you what you really need in your life. On the other hand, if that’s not exactly the way it is, there’s always Tony at Anthony.Bestwick@btinternet.com
