Just when you think you've heard it all, along comes a perversion that can only be called--amazing. For example, there's a guy in Amsterdam who enjoys taking showers fully clothed. He reports that a suit with a double-vented jacket works best. Go figure. Whether or not he lathers up I don't know. Nor do I know if he then has his clothes dry cleaned. Somehow that would make no sense but, then again, consider the gentleman with whom you're dealing.

During this past year, I also came across armpit worship and people who get excited looking at clowns. Perhaps the idea of nine guys with wigs and squirt flowers piled into a car the size of a washing machine does have a certain appeal...but it escapes me and I'm really open minded. On the other hand, take Japanese schoolgirls. Now there's an attraction I can appreciate but the newest craze, pictures of them lying in traction in hospital beds, seems to go way beyond anything reasonable. To me, watching bones mend is a lot like watching paint dry. I would also think the ladies pictured would not be keen to party after a month in a cast but what do I know?

Videos of lactating transsexuals have also made their way to the Internet. A little odd but nothing compared to those with a sneeze fetish. If they're to be believed, watching a sweet young thing taking a pinch of snuff takes them over the top every time. I should think flu season holds the promise of a true orgasmic frenzy.

But for tastes out of this world, there's a new crowd of sci-fi fans who are devoted to the notion of sex with extraterrestrials. I can see it with the Amazon types Flash Gordon was always fighting off (why he was fighting them off, I don't know) but alien tastes in the 21st Century veer more in the direction of hairy spiders. If they're from another planet, they've got what it takes...sometimes in duplicate.