Living Single

The truth about singles in our society.

Bella DePaulo is author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. She teaches at UC Santa Barbara. See full bio

October 5, 2009

The High Price of Being Single

The comparison in the New York Times of the economic positions of gay couples to straight couples was worth pursuing. But it neglects a much bigger issue - the privileging of marriage as a gateway to such essentials as health benefits, and as a ticket to a treasure trove of benefits and privileges. Even if every couple could marry, that would do nothing for all of the people of every sexual orientation who are single.

October 4, 2009

Make Your Own Bed And Lie Happily in It – or Just Leave It Unmade

Singles from around the blogosphere share their top reasons for loving single life and their discoveries of studies documenting the positives about singles that (surprise!) do not get much attention. They also note the challenges that are specific to singles.

September 30, 2009

Book Club Begins with 3 Questions

How do you answer people who ask why you are not married, plus two other questions mark the start of the AtMP online book club discussion.

September 28, 2009

Sometimes Time Magazine Just Can’t Help Itself

Now along comes this very interesting story in Time magazine suggesting that the economic benefits of getting married are not what they used to be. But my weekly e-mail from Time says this about the story: "Getting married may still bring happiness..." Uh, no, it doesn't. And the story in question says absolutely nothing about happiness. Sometimes Time magazine just can't help itself.

September 26, 2009

Owning Your Happiness

Christina and Lisa of Onely.org wondered whether I had experienced a watershed moment when I realized I was happy living single, or whether I knew it all along. For this last day of National Singles Week and the last stop on the blog crawl, I tell them my story.

September 24, 2009

Celebrating an Ending

Novelist Laura Dave is guest posting here today as part of the National Singles Week blog crawl. She tells us, "While the cookie-cutter route to fulfillment in movies, television, and books often involves finding or honoring a romantic partner--it felt very important to me to honor the stories of the women who chose another way. And, in turn, found themselves on a path to extraordinary redemption." Read More

September 24, 2009

Enlighten Your Workplace: From Speaking Out to Buying an Office Kid

Prepare to raise your consciousness and those of your bosses and coworkers: Learn about issues facing singles in the workplace. Or, as a shortcut, just buy an Office Kid.

September 23, 2009

Singles Week Spins Out of Control

National Singles Week started out as an act of advocacy, education, and political reform. It was meant to be a week to enlighten the nation about the growing number of singles in society, their contributions, and the realities of their lives. It was not supposed to be about dating, matchmaking, or mocking people who are single.

September 21, 2009

What If the Most Important Person in Your Life Is Invisible?

The people in Margaret's life did not acknowledge her role in Anna's care the way they surely would have if she had been caring for a partner. Margaret noted that her "colleagues made few alterations in the demands they placed." At Anna's memorial service, "the president of our college pointedly addressed his formal condolences to Anna's biological kin."

September 20, 2009

Know Your Single People

It is SO not 1950 anymore! Singles don't have to wait until marriage to have houses, sex, children, travel experiences, or furniture from actual stores. In fact, they don't have to marry at all. They can choose to skip over any or all of the steps and accoutrements of what used to be the Standard Path through adult life. Problem is, too many Americans are caught in a cultural lag. Our perceptions of single people and their place in society have not caught up with the realities. What do you know about the actual lives of single people? Read More