Living Single

The truth about singles in our society.

Debunking Every Myth about Marriage, All in One Place

How getting married will (not) transform your life

I have been debunking myths about the transformative magic of getting married for a very long time. I did it most thoroughly for the first time in Singled Out but have continued taking on just about every major study that gets big-time media attention (and plenty that do not) ever since. I have been collecting my critiques of each supposed benefit of marrying (e.g., getting happier, getting healthier, getting to live longer, getting more connected to other people, raising kids who are not doomed) in separate posts. A while back, I posted links to those collections here.

Since then, I’ve been getting requests to post that again (with updates), under a title that will make it easy for readers to remember so they can find the collection again when they want to. I have continued to update the collections while I’ve tried to think of The Perfect Title. I don’t think I ever succeeded. But I did come up with this solution and I hope it will help. I’m featuring the set of links on the homepage of my personal website, BellaDePaulo.com, in a box with the heading “Debunking Myths about Marriage.” It will stay there for the foreseeable future. So anytime you want to find out what we really know about how it will (not) change your life if you get married, all you need to remember is my name. Search for that and you find my website (which is simply my name) and then you will find the weight of the evidence on each topic as well as discussions about how to think about marital status research, from a methodological perspective. (I taught an advanced graduate course in research methods for decades.)

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Below is the same collection you will find on my home page. I will continue to add links to the individual collections as I write more about the specific topics.

I have lots more new stuff to write about but am getting behind (does any blogger ever claim to be way ahead?), mostly because of having a deadline for the complete first draft of my new book coming up in a few months. In the meantime, check out the Note at the end of this collection for links to a few articles that may be of interest, that I haven’t gotten to blog about yet but wanted to, and a few other things.

The Truth about What Happens If You Get Married*

(*and a few other things)

On getting married and (not) getting happier: What we know

Getting married and (not) getting healthy: What decades of research really shows

Debunking the myth that married people live longer

The Myth of the Isolated and Self-Centered Single Person: Who Really Is More Connected and More Likely to Provide Care?

Single parents and their children: Don’t believe the prophesies of doom

Getting married and (not) getting sex

Getting married and getting more money

A few other things...

Single men are too often marginalized, but not – I hope – by me

Single at heart: What do we know about it?

What do we know about the experiences of singles around the world?

Singles in the military and foreign service: Voices and perspectives

Is it fair for businesses to charge singles more? Examples from many sectors

Here’s what I know about lying and detecting lies (Obviously, this last one is not about single life)

Note: Here are a few other singles-relevant stories that may be of interest. (1) Our friend Christina at Onely was quoted at length in this story that first appeared in US News & World Report and then was republished in the Money section of MSN: “Singles face more financial stress.” (2) In this Q & A, Sara Eckel discusses her new book, It’s not you: 27 (wrong) reasons you’re single. I haven’t read it yet but the article about it is making me curious. The book started with a Modern Love column at the New York Times that became very popular.

I also liked this recent post by fellow PT blogger Sophia Dembling: What if staying single weren't stigmatized?

Also, I’m still interested in your answers to questions from two previous posts: Singles, what are you already doing successfully? and What would make your life better as a single person? I also continue to invite guest posts from people who are Single at Heart, to share here or at one of my other blogs.

Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., is author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. She is a visiting professor at UCSB.

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