Living Single

The truth about singles in our society.

Debunking Every Myth about Marriage, All in One Place

Here’s where you can find the truth on just about every myth about how getting married will transform you. You can find out about happiness, health, sex, living longer, interpersonal connections, providing care and getting care, the fate of the children of single (vs. married) parents, and much more. Read More

Good to have a single resource, no pun intended

I was just reminiscing yesterday over a manager we had at Sears when I was in my teens (think 80s), and she was 40ish and mean as a wasp. We were all terrified of her. Then she Met Someone and Got Married, and we were treated to a kinder, gentler Linda for about 3 weeks. Then she was back to her old snappy self again.
When I think of all the wisecracks people made about how if she just had regular sex, she'd be a nice person, then the expectations everyone had of that happening after she got married, it's just kind of funny. Of course she changed a bit during the honeymoon phase, but after that was over, she was still the same woman, and you'd have to think that anyone who could tolerate her wouldn't be such a prince that he'd produce any lasting change. >: )

Kathleen Parker - "To Defeat Poverty, Look to Marriage"

I thought you might be interested in the recent Washington Post column by Kathleen Parker.

To be fair, she acknowledges that simply getting married isn't a complete cure-all for economic ills, but this line is particularly hard to ignore: "But marriage, besides being the best arrangement for children, has the added benefit of being good for grown-ups. Half the pain, twice the joy. What’s not to love?" I can think of a few things...


Thanks for this, JRR. I just read it and it is filled with myths. I think I'll go there and post a link to this post, but there are already 1000 comments so not sure anyone (esp Parker) will notice.

Dear Bella

I read your book and I'm in love with you.

You said it so well -- all the things I've been thinking and kinda say but I'm not as articulate (or funny) as you.

I'm a very happy single person and when my friends, coworkers or others I hear about getting married act like they feel sorry for me cauz you know, I'm so sad and single, I actually really and truly feel sorry for them. Every blue moon someone seems to actually be happy, but they were usually a pretty happy person before they got married and so not much changed.

I'm gonna visit each one of your links and I'm going to feel very smug and self-satisfied the whole time. Thank you so much for your wonderful self!


Just had to say thanks for such a kind comment!

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Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., is author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. She is a visiting professor at UCSB.


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