Living Single

The truth about singles in our society.

In Japan, Can Marriage Be a Hobby and Friendship for Real?

There have been many sensationalist stories about singles in Japan that are not exactly flattering. In this guest post by Asian Studies scholar Laura Dales, we are treated to a behind-the-scenes look at some of the more enlightening responses to the singlism, including one from a critic who tells single Japanese women to think of marriage as, at best, a hobby. Read More

I love one comment

About how making a network of friends is good preparation for old age. Some people have criticized my choice not to have children by asking "who will provide for you in old age?" It never occurred to me that anything other than my own savings and retirement plan(s) would do that (and at this point, I admit it's looking like I'll be eating ketchup sandwiches under the Viaduct when I'm 70, but still). And I've always thought that without the constant financial drain of raising kids, I'd be much better set to care for myself. Children are no guarantee of support; there are 3 girls in my family and one is wealthy while two of us struggle to support ourselves and/or our own families. I never ask my mom for money, but she sends it.
I am lucky to have a network of close friends who would never let one another fall through the cracks. We live spread out now, but I know I have a couch in several states if it ever comes to sleeping on the street, and my office day bed has served as a crash pad for several friends in trouble or transition. Some of these friends are married, but the pact is sacred and transcends spousal objection.

Golden Girls! :-) I like that

Golden Girls! :-)

I like that show even more now. My pals and I were walking in Montreal. We saw a three story house. My pal noted that if none of us marry that we could buy such a house together. We each could have our own floor. I used that concept as a sitcom idea in a writing class.

Links to parts one and two

The link to part 2 is the same as that for part 1. Can it please be changed? Thanks - and thanks for these articles as well.

done -- thanks

Thanks for the heads-up about that -- it is fixed. For some unknown reason, I never got an email alert about any of the comments posted to this blog post so I'm just discovering them. For years, I have always gotten email alerts as soon as any comments were posted.

Some day your prince will come, maybe.

And if not, the spinsterhood will always take you.
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Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., is author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. She is a visiting professor at UCSB.

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