Living Single

The truth about singles in our society.

Myths about Marriage and Single Life: Weight of the Evidence

What you know that just isn’t so

Before I started my personal blog, I occasionally wrote posts here under the title, “Singles Collection.” That happened when I had lots of topics I wanted to mention but did not want to write that many different blog posts. Now, even with other places to publish my writings about single life, I once again have lots of different things to say all at once.

#1 Crushing the myths about marriage and single life: The weight of the evidence

Readers’ discussion of my most recent post resurrected all sorts of familiar myths about marriage and single life. I have written about most of those myths repeatedly, most extensively in Singled Out, and then again, whenever subsequent research was published or mindless claims appeared in the media.

Find a Therapist

Search for a mental health professional near you.

Over at the blog on my personal website, I have begun to put together collections of links on particular myths and topics. I listed some of them elsewhere but now the list is longer. I will continue to add to it.

The Myth of the Isolated and Self-Centered Single Person: Who Really Is More Connected and More Likely to Provide Care?

On getting married and (not) getting happier: What we know

Debunking the myth that married people live longer

Single parents and their children: Don’t believe the prophesies of doom

Single at heart: What do we know about it?

What do we know about the experiences of singles around the world?

Singles in the military and foreign service: Voices and perspectives

Is it fair for businesses to charge singles more? Examples from many sectors

Here’s what I know about lying and detecting lies (Okay, so this last one is not about single life)

#2 The sound of singles getting screwed in the workplace reverberates through the media

In another recent post, I discussed an article in Marie Claire, “The Single Girl’s Second Shift,” about the ways in which single people, and workers with no children, are often expected to cover for everyone else in the workplace. I’m happy to report that the topic seemed to strike a nerve, as it is now getting widely discussed. Among the places where you can find relevant stories are The Week, The Root, Jezebel, the Los Angeles Times, and Slate.

#3 For your Dexter fix

I only mention this one because so many bloggers here at Psychology Today contributed to the book, The Psychology of Dexter. To mark the last season of show, the publisher of the book is offering free excerpts from each chapter and a lower price on the ebook.

#4  If you love your single life and want to share your passion…

A reader of my blogs recently sent me a great suggestion. He said that he would like to hear from people who love their single lives. What makes them passionate about living single? What are the different perspectives and approaches to life of people who are single at heart?

So, single-at-heart readers, have at it! Tell me why your own single life is so fulfilling. Send your essays and observations to me at BellaDePaulo [at] gmail.com. Typical blog posts are between 400 and 800 words, but there are lots of exceptions. I may publish entire posts or select excerpts.

There is no deadline. Submit your writing whenever you like. I will probably space the essays out over time, interspersed with my usual posts. I may also post some of the essays or excerpts on my personal blog or another place where I post instead of here. As you can see, this idea is in the early stages.

#5 Blogfest2 coming soon: Want to join us?

Cindy Butler of Unmarried Equality, Christina Campbell and Lisa A. of Onely, Eleanore Wells of Spinsterlicious Life and I are organizing a series of blogfests to raise awareness about singlism (the stereotyping, stigmatizing, and discrimination against single people) and single life. We call our group the Communications League for Unmarried Equality or CLUE.

Our first blogest, about the cost of single life, launched on tax day, April 15. Dozens of bloggers participated. Our next event is scheduled for Independence Day, July 4, and the theme is the ways in which single people are both independent and interdependent: they value their autonomy but they also attend to their connections with other people (usually to a greater extent than married people do) and they often do more than their share of caring for people who cannot care for themselves.

If you have a blog and would like to join the league of singles bloggers for this blogfest or for future events, let me know (or any of the other organizers) and we will add your name to the list and send you more information. We also welcome people who want to tweet about the events.

  

Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., is author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. She is a visiting professor at UCSB.

more...

Subscribe to Living Single

Current Issue

Love & Lust

Who says marriage is where desire goes to die?