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You know it's the holidays when people start hosting pity parties for single people and when couples flaunt their relationship status. Head to any media source and you are sure to be treated to tips on how to "survive" the holidays when you are single.
Did you notice the political ads circulating just before Christmas? Most of the presidential candidates were scampering to produce their most syrupy videos, featuring - of course - their spouse. On television shows about politics, the pundits seem to be in agreement about what this all means: The candidates are getting "humanized." (Because how could anyone be human without a spouse?) Also, we are told, women love this stuff. They want to see their candidates with a spouse and family.
Almost all of the Presidential contenders are Republicans, for obvious reasons, but the matrimania is hardly limited to the right-wing media. For example, both CNN, and an otherwise highly intelligent and thoughtful show on MSNBC - NOW with Alex Wagner - included laudatory segments on the spousal campaign ads. Not one panelist offered a critical or even questioning analysis.
I don't doubt that some people really do like the spouse-in-the-house political videos. I'm also sure there are some single people who think that the holidays are daunting tests of their very souls - times that need to be "survived" rather than celebrated.
The pity-the-single-person perspective, though, seems to be missing out on what may be the most consequential demographic juggernauts in recent history - the tremendous rise in the number of people who are single and the number of people who live solo. (The two trends are not exactly the same because most single people do not live alone.)
It is striking that none of the candidates, and none of the pundits, seemed to wonder about the extent of the appeal of an ad featuring a spouse, when close to half of all adults in the United States are single, and when there are fewer households comprised of mom, dad, and the kids than of single people living solo.
Is there really still so little perspective-taking, and so little awareness of singlism and of the actual lives of single people, that no one pondered the reactions that single people might have to such ads? I watch such videos and worry that the candidates who approved of these matrimanical messages will also be matrimaniacal in their policies. There are already more than 1,000 federal laws that allocate benefits and protections only to people who are legally married. What will that number be if one of these spouse-aholics gets four years to push an agenda that favors married people and further discriminates against singles?
Producing a video staring yourself and your spouse does not necessarily mean that you will work against fair treatment of single people. Still, I want to be reassured.
[If you haven't already read it, you may be interested in the post, Why aren't married people any happier than singles? A Nobel Prize winner's answer. As always, you can find posts from other enlightened singles bloggers at Single with Attitude.]
