This winter, the Huffington Post added a new section on divorce. A post titled "Are you dating yet?" became immediately popular, and now has been tweeted more than 1,700 times and "Liked" even more times. I don't know the author, Wendy Dennis, but I greatly appreciated this introduction to her point of view. (Thanks, Laurie, for the heads-up!)
Dennis was reflecting on the question ("Are you dating yet?") posed to people such as herself who were recently divorced. What bothered her, she said,
"was the assumption that I - indeed anyone in my position - would naturally want to get back in the game. But I didn't feel that way, and not only did I find the assumption strangely irksome, I felt powerless to reject it without seeming defensive."
She then described what she is questioning:
"the deeply-embedded assumption that in our culture that throughout their lives, all hetero women have the same goals... and after a divorce they're merely just marking time until a sentient male crosses their paths...
Dennis surmises that the dating question is often
"asked by unhappily married women who prefer to pity a single woman rather than feel threatened by her relaxed independence."
It is a compelling essay so you may want to read the whole thing. I wanted to mention it because her points resonate with so many of the issues we've discussed here. She's speaking from the perspective of a divorced single person, but her observations are not specific to just those singles. I also thought you might find it heartening that so many people have shared and tweeted and reposted her article.
