I subscribe to Alternet's newsletter, and was delighted to discover that one of their most popular stories of the week was titled "Why being single can be great for you - and your future relationships." (The most-popular list was from last week - I'm always behind on getting to the many topics I want to discuss here.)
Among the most engaging topics here at Living Single is the idea of being "single at heart." We've discussed what it might mean to be single at heart and whether that attitude is quirkyalone's naughty cousin. But those topics typically meander into another discussion - is it possible to be happily single but still open to a romantic relationship sometime in the future?
In the Alternet story, Greta Christina (her personal blog is here) makes the case that being single can be great for you in and of itself and that it can be terrific for your future romantic relationships, if you are interested in that. Greta Christina is now married, after living single for 12 years, and she explains why her years of single life strengthened her marriage.
Here are a few of my favorite quotes.
"Being single for twelve years was one of the best experiences of my life. It taught me self-reliance. It taught me self-confidence. It taught me an immense amount about who I was. It taught me how to keep myself company. It taught me how to keep myself sane. And for most of those years, it was just plain fun."
"I wasn't single for twelve years out of bad luck or bad vibes or bad dating skills. I was single because I chose to be single."
"I learned how to sort out what I wanted and felt from what other people told me I should want and feel."
"Knowing that I can be happily single makes it easier to be happily married. My marriage is stronger because I see it as a real choice."
"If you tend to feel trapped in relationships - or if you get panicky and freaked-out when you're not in one - it's an option you might consider. It's an option that might make you happy, simply because it's fun and valuable for its own sake. And it's an option that might do a world of good for any future relationships."
Thank you, Greta Christina and Alternet!
[There are two more personal reasons why I love Alternet. First, in 2004, before Singled Out was even written and when I was just starting to get known as a scholar of single life, Alternet published my election season story, "Ditching the lipstick-and-panties pitch." Then, in 2008, they published my essay, "What's wrong with staying single?"]
