Living Single

The truth about singles in our society.

Questions about Single Life? I’m Compiling a Book of Answers

A decade of questions about single life

Ever since I started talking and teaching and writing about singles and single life, I've been asked all sorts of questions. They come from readers of my books and my blogs, from reporters, from students, and from the people I talk to in my everyday life. I'm happy to answer just about all of them. (Readers of this blog already know the exceptions - no questions about dating or mate-baiting!)

I'm currently compiling some of the most interesting or most frequently-asked questions, along with my answers, into a brief book tentatively titled, "A Decade of Questions about Single Life." (Actually, it's been more than a decade.) Below are the five categories of questions I'm working with at the moment, plus some sample questions in each category.

Are there any questions you'd like to add to my list? You should also feel free to suggest points I should make in my answers. (If you do so, let me know if I can credit you if I do use your suggestions and how to refer to you.)

1. Personal Life as a Single Person and Singles Advocate

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Sample questions:

  • What has been most rewarding in your attempts to do consciousness-raising about singles and single life?
  • What has been most disappointing?

2. Varieties of Singles

Sample questions:

  • Who has it worse - single women or single men?
  • Do you think people see divorced singles differently than singles who have never been married?

3. Singles in the Media and in Society

Sample questions:

  • Why are people so resistant to the idea that single people can be truly happy? Do they think that happy singles see themselves as ‘too good' for coupledom?
  • Why does society make us feel bad or inferior or less when we are single?
  • What dangers do books like The Rules create for single women?

4. Myths

Sample questions:

  • Are singles selfish?
  • In what ways are singles made to feel as though they are not adults?

5. Advice

Sample questions:

  • How can singles overcome the darkness that gets hung around our necks? It seems that the more we proclaim our strength and desire to be single, the more we are accused of bitterness.
  • Do you have any advice for the suddenly single?
  • What types of activities are ideal for singles who aren't looking to get into a relationship?

 

Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., is author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. She is a visiting professor at UCSB.

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