Living Single

The truth about singles in our society.

Today Is Not Their Wedding Day, and I Toast Them and Honor Them

People who deserve to be applauded today, but will not be

Today, many people will make a difference in the world. You don't know their names. Neither do I.

  • Someone will be there for another person, in a big or small way, and both of them will long remember it.
  • People here and there around the globe, who have more stacked against them than anyone ever should, will make it through the day. Their daily acts of strength and courage may go unnoticed or unrecognized, but somehow, some way, I believe they are contributing to the greater good.
  • Lots of people in lots of places are working hard at something they believe in. Maybe today is not one of the fun days. Maybe it is just a bore and a grind and a burden. But with their values and aspirations to motive them, they carry on.
  • Today lots of people are working at a miserable job because they need that job to survive.
  • Today lots of people yearn for a job, no matter how miserable. They won't find it, but they will keep trying.
  • Many people today would love a toast. Not a champagne toast, just a piece of toast.
  • Today, pairs of people everywhere are emailing, texting, chatting, or spending time with each other. There may be nothing particularly memorable about today's moments of connection - no photo albums will preserve them for posterity, no engraved invitations will be mailed to a list of witnesses. Those pairs of people are not connected by sex, their relationship is not celebrated with gifts, and there will be no special place for them in federal statutes. Maybe no one will ever ask either of the persons how the other person is doing, or include that other person in invitations to family gatherings or social events. But the moment to moment, day to day, year to year connections tie the pairs together in a way that three million dollars never could. Maybe those moments will bond them for a lifetime. Maybe, under separate roofs or a shared roof, they will live happily ever after.

Today is not the wedding day of any of these people. I toast them all. I honor them all.

 

Bella DePaulo, Ph.D., is author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. She is a visiting professor at UCSB.

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