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A Dutch study, similar to a German one, was just published. Some key results: Lifelong singles in both countries are, on the average, clearly on the happy end of the scale every year of their lives. Those who divorce experience lower levels of happiness, at least for a while, than continuously single people ever do. People who marry and stay married become happier at first but then, little by little, become less happy over time. The main difference is that in the Dutch group, that initial increase in happiness declines much more slowly than it does in the German group.
Comparing marrieds and singles
When you think about it, if you're married but don't like it you can get divorced. And in these studies the divorced are in a separate category than the marrieds.
But if you're single and you don't like it, unless you can find a partner you're stuck. And in these studies the voluntary and involuntary singles are put together.
Which makes in all the more interesting that the happiness levels are so close.
exactly
An important point and I can't remember ever seeing it in print, in all of the zillions of published studies of marital status and various outcomes.
Future Research Directions
Thank you for digging into those weeds for us! Despite the somewhat misleading statistical analysis, what's great is that the results of this study provide quite a bit of support for the German study! I wish someone would do a similar North American study.
Re. what Alan said, I'd love to see more research comparing long-term singles by choice to long-term singles by circumstance. I'd really like to know who singles by choice are demographically and what beliefs, values, and personality traits they may have in common. I'm kind of surprised no one has looked at this already. Maybe the academic community in general still can't believe there ARE singles by choice.
Single By Choice
Singletude: Very interesting idea!! I'm wondering how one would identify the "singles by choice." I would imagine that a lot of people who seem to be single by circumstance are really single by choice, but just in the closet about it. It can take a long time to realize one's power/choice when you're in an environment where you "must" behave in a certain way.
I can see now that I am single by choice, in that I said no to marriage when it was offered and didn't have msrriage as a "goal." But I come from a very traditional environment, where a woman who isn't married is so suspect and harshly judged that being neutral was as defiant as I could comfortably get--and I readily accepted the projection that there was something wrong with me. No one ever suggested that I was single by choice, and since I've nothing against marriage in and of itself--it seems to work for some people--I never came out and said explicitly "nope--not for me." My actions said that, though.
What are your thoughts on this? :-D
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