Living Single

The truth about singles in our society.

Bella DePaulo is author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. She teaches at UC Santa Barbara. See full bio

September 17, 2009, Law and Crime

CBS on Suspect in Yale Murder: Now 2 Weddings Are Ruined!

Is a murder any less tragic if the victim was not about to wed?

"Yale Student Death: Will Two Weddings End in Tragedy?" That was the headline of a CBS news blog. Really. You can't make this stuff up. Because truly, what could be more heart-wrenching than the demise of the wedding plans of a man who allegedly strangled a co-worker to death, then stuffed her body behind a wall in the basement of the building?

Thanks to "Living Single" reader Casey for sending me the priceless link. In the subject heading of her email to me, she called this an instance of "reprehensible matrimania," and I think she's right.

Let's set aside the jaw-dropping attempt at cancelled-nuptials sympathy for the suspected cold-blooded killer. What about the victim, Annie Le? When her disappearance was first reported, we heard again and again about how her wedding day was drawing near. Then, when her body was found, was there any report that did NOT mention that the discovery occurred on what would have been her wedding day?

I understand, given the sentimentalized place of marriage in contemporary American culture, why the wedding angle works, emotionally, and why the press plays it for all it is worth. My question is a different one: Is a murder any less tragic if the person killed was not about to wed?

[There are so many singles-relevant items these days, that I've been posting frequently over the past few months. Earlier today, I posted Part 2 about that NY Times profile of the 50-something single-again woman, Chris, and Chris has just posted a comment telling more about her perspective. Click here to see if there are other "Living Single" posts of interest to you that you may have missed. Also, if you are interested, check out my collection of 89 essays just published in August, Single with Attitude: Not Your Typical Take on Health and Happiness, Love and Money, Marriage and Friendship. You can get it here, here, or here.]