Other young women become confused and discouraged in their wish to find a boyfriend. Either they don't meet available partners, or end up in relationships that don't work. Sometimes they find relief in getting off the "gerbil wheel" of compulsive dating and activity, to see what is really going on for them. They may discover conflicting desires: "I want to meet someone, but I totally act aloof and avoid situations where I might be rejected", or "I worry that I become so focused on a relationship, that I lose Me", "or "If I'm really honest with myself, I see that as the oldest sibling with a depressed mom, I ended up taking care of everyone else while growing up; now I really relish being able to construct my life around what I need. And that's not being selfish!!"
The point of these deeper explorations is to allow the young woman to become more self aware, so that she has freedom to make choices that fit her. Single doesn't become a refuge, nor does it become a place she has to flee from. Being single becomes a legitimate and powerful place to live, love, and build a life.
