This is a nice interview and puts a lot of things into perspective. There are also a lot of single woman in India and also a lot of feminists!

I thought marrying a soulmate was important in Indie culture. I interview a few Indie couples for my book, Divine Complement who talked about compatibility matching through astrology when an arranged marriage was being considered. Each said the soulmate connection was important to them. Hope you will get a copy of my book. http://www.ariadnegreen.com

Yes, exemplary .

I wish I could be as talented as the interviewer . I want to marry a single woman who is an intellectual and who I can relate to . Still looking .

Growing-up and living in India in the Hindu culture for twenty four years and visiting often, I have seen very little change (especially in rural areas and small towns in India where most people live) in the status of women. Even though lifestyles are changing, there are very few women, mainly in progressive big cities, who are happy being single. They are rarely accepted by the society (even less by their immediate friends and family since they see it as a shameful act and disgrace to the family) and often stigmatized and ostracized. Women past the “marriage-able age” (34+) are often subject to ridicule and assumed to have major personality or physical disorders even though arranging marriage is a family enterprise and the family takes part of the blame. These unmarried women are rarely happy.

It is true that single women in India do not have the pressure of finding a suitable match but this putative advantage is far overshadowed by very low-self esteem, fear of getting married to an incompatible groom, fear of being part of a new, often hostile and potentially violent family, being able to adjust to a new family and home environment, constant worry of how parents will accumulate dowry and pay for future gifts to the groom’s family...the list goes on.

Regarding Hindu culture having a positive image of celibacy, I must point out that celibacy is only revered in the religious context - the special space and respect for unmarried women and the act of voluntary abstinence is bestowed only if they become part of the religious system and hierarchy (similar to the celibate priests in the Western societies). Absent any religious affiliation, no special status or respect is granted to a celibate woman.

Also, I believe that there is a cultural imperative in India that marriage/coupling should bring happiness. Even though personal happiness is not valued as much as happiness of the entire family, most people understand that if the couple is not happy, they cannot bring happiness to the family at large. The concept of finding a “soul mate” may be rare but most families compare astrological charts of the bride and groom and make efforts to ensure compatibility that would lead to happiness. In fact this cultural imperative is more pronounced in India as the bride is under constant pressure to not only please the husband but to bring happiness to the entire family.

There are local and regional feminist groups in India fighting for women’s rights but these efforts are primarily focused towards obtaining social and economic equality. It is encouraging to see that life for singles is changing in India but the change is very slow and limited to a very small segment of the society. Due to the relatively close knit social structure of friends and family, singles may not feel as lonely and desperate (even though that is debatable) but single life is not psychologically easier for Indian women (for the reasons mentioned above). Single women in India face discrimination, live in subservience, and deal with a variety of tough challenges and hardships.

This makes me wonder about the interesting commentary and reporting by feminist intellectuals and journalists in India, perhaps they are focusing and reporting on a very exclusive group of single women that do not really represent the majority of single women in India.

hi

is there an association of single women ? i am an unmarried female and would like to be a member of it .please let me know on my id shweta76@hotmail.com

thanks