Living Single

The truth about singles in our society.

Bella DePaulo is author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. She teaches at UC Santa Barbara. See full bio

July 10, 2008, Social Life

Comments on "Advice to Singles from an Editor at Vogue – in 1936"

Advice to Singles from an Editor at Vogue – in 1936

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. on July 10, 2008 in Living Single

Tired of women who whined about being single, the author decided to share her own decidedly uncomplaining perspective. The book was an instant success, passed around from friend to friend and from generation to generation. Read More

Could apply to men, too.

Submitted by D.C. on July 10, 2008 - 9:36am.

Bella,
Apparently great minds think alike. Thanks for this post - I'll have to search for the book at my local bookstore. I believe this advice applies with equal force to men - I know I found it pertinent.

I find it interesting that this book came to print at a time when "chivalry," matrimony, the dream of the white picket fence, etc., were likely at the forefront of society. A time when one was considered an "old maid" by the age of 20-something if one didn't have children.

Just a couple of questions. Was Hillis herself single? Also, I wonder if there are any men who are "whiners" about being single - I know I'm not.

As always, thanks.

about Hillis

Submitted by Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. on July 10, 2008 - 11:41am.

Thanks, D.C. Hillis was single when she wrote the book around age 47, but later married. The historical aspects are really interesting. My area is psychology rather than history, but I know that some interesting work on singles in American history is in progress. There's also a Singles Studies website, that I put together along with Kay Trimberger and Rachel Moran: http://issc.berkeley.edu/singlesstudies/biblio_section10.html I don't know of any formal research about men's and women's complaints about being single. My guess is that the cultural receptivity to complaints is different, because of different stereotypes. So, stereotypically, men are supposed to love being single and free, whereas women are supposedly desperate to wed. Time to get past ALL of the stereotypes!

reasons for marriage

Submitted by D.C. on July 10, 2008 - 4:27pm.

I think what motivates marrying is more of this irrational belief that marriage is the *only* way to be "legitimate" in eyes of society, friends, co-worker, etc, (matrimania?).

And it's no wonder, with all the books and T.V. shows that encourage this very idea of how to couple up; how to catch a man, etc.

But there is living proof to explode this presumption of marital superiority - Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed; Oprah and Stedman; Kirt Russell and Goldie Hawn. I'm sure there's more. But, generally speaking, you never see articles on them such as "Still Unmarried And Happily Ever After;" or "The Smartest Decision They Never Made."

Single History

Submitted by Rachel on July 15, 2008 - 10:12am.

I have to check out this book! It sounds like a real find...

I stumbled on a great book that might be of interest, too: Liberty: A Better Husband by Lee Chambers-Schiller. It describes the history of singles during the early 1800s. It's fascinating! And it's so rewarding to read the strong words single women penned back then. We can be proud of our historical roots, imo!