Thanks for the interesting and thoughtful post. I agree with you that SATC is about more than fun and fashion: friendship is the core of its popularity!

Best,
Irene

Sex and the City seems to have a polarizing force... people either hate the movie or love it; so far it seems like the "lovers" outnumber the "haters"

I know their friendship is a huge part of the show, but they are too obsessed with sex and men, in my opinion. An abridged script website pretty much sums up the inconsistencies between "feminism" and their actions:

SARAH JESSICA PARKER, CYNTHIA NIXON, KRISTIN DAVIS, and KIM CATTRALL talk unabashedly about SEX and obsess brainlessly over FASHION.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER

Female empowerment is great!

CYNTHIA NIXON

Yeah! Grrl power!

They illustrate this by having the men in their lives do unforgivable things to them, then eventually blame themselves and forgive the men. This allows them to live HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

http://www.the-editing-room.com/sexandthecity.html

I too believe that as progressive as "Sex and the City" proclaims itself to be, the focus and topic of conversation for the women is still archiac. In fact, almost all of the characters march to the "I need a man" drum.
You make an excellent point in diving the missed opportunity of poignancy that could have occured if the script writers had identified friendship as a driving force in Samantha's life. Unfortunately, I see that as an often undervalued part of many women's lives. Just as the script writers overlooked that obvious element and undervalued it, so do many women in their own lives.
For example, just recently I have had three different friends decide that that I was no longer worth their time or energy because they had a man in their life. The first friend decided that she didn't want to celebrate her birthday with her friends at all (including me) but she was going to leave the day open just in case her boyfriend of two weeks decided to take her out for dinner (not that he had made plans with her, just IN CASE he wanted to make plans with her). Then my best friend of 16 years decided that she could no longer even keep in contact with me because she wanted to focus on her relationship and she couldn't do that and be emotionally there for me at the same time (it was "too draining" for her, better to put her energies into her relationship with a guy that she has been dating for less than a year). And lastly, I had another friend who struck up a romantic relationship with a mutual friend of ours. Suddenly she wasn't interested in getting together and baking with me anymore (though it was her original suggestion). No no. Every other weekend would be spent with her boyfriend and the other weekends would be spent going home to see her parents.
These real life "SATC" girls, have fallen into the trap that is set by these TV shows and society itself; undervaluing their friendships in preference for the romantic partner.
Tell me Bella, how do you deal with this issue in single living? How do other singles deal with it? How does a person that values their friendships withstand being undervalued by those same friends because our society claims that only a romantic partner is really worth our time?

Hi Rachel,

I am SO sorry to hear about your rude friends. I have heard so many stories like yours, and I've experienced variations on that theme myself. My guess is that such obnoxious and short-sighted behavior will come back to bite the people who practice it, but still, it is hurtful for those at the receiving end.

I think you are right that there is a very broad problem here of the undervaluing of friendships in society at large.

For singles, it would be great to find like-minded friends, such as other singles who are not obsessed with finding a boyfriend/girlfriend, or people who are coupled but still value their friendships, including time spend with friends that does not include the romantic partner.

Unfortunately, there are not enough such people. Big-scale consciousness-raising is needed. I'm working on it.

If we look at how TV shows have portrayed women over the years Sex and the City is a gigantic leap in the right direction. In 1950’s, television had women like June Cleaver from Leave it to Beaver being the perfect housewife vacuuming in pearls as ideal. I know many shows have broken this mold but SATC is a really modern take on it. The fact that it’s about four single women in their thirties trying to meet men but also how much fun they have in the mean time shows that. They live their lives as single, successful, sexy women and have a great time doing it. They’re fine without the husband or kids, at least for now (I know that changes towards the end of the series).

We can’t forget that this is still a TV show that is driven by ratings and advertisers which I think can account for the over-the-top sexuality and the glitz and glamour. Something has to bring back viewers each week. But overall, I think that the changing role of women to be more independent allows the heart of the show to be more about their meaningful relationships to each other rather than meaningful relationships to men.

I heard so much hype about the show, I finally watched it on re-runs. It is a funny show, but as a single woman, I found the hype about the show and the portrayal of single women on SATC an insult. In my opinion, they were four self-absorbed, immature dumb broads who only knew how to be pretty and sleep around. They engaged in high risk sexual behavior, resulting in STDs and an unintended pregnancy. These were women of no substance. If anything, I feel the show should be hyped as the poster child for everything a single woman SHOULDN'T do and be. I preferred the portrayal of single women on the show "Judging Amy" The characters - Amy, a divorced judge, and her mother, a single child welfare caseworker - were more like the various women I've known, the work I've done,how I've preferred to live my life and the kind of women I choose for my friends. These two characters dated, had romances, but thier lives were also filled with their work, thier family and friends.