I have to say that the only singlism I've experienced has been rare negatives comments about singles in the media, in particular the opinion page.

I haven't noticed any different treatment in restaurants, or by friends or family members, because of my marriage status. In fact, being single has allowed me to live a simpler, quieter, more flexible lifestyle.

Granted, being male and single is quite different than being female and single...

Now that you mention, Singlism is everywhere! I have never thought that it should be treated the same degree as racism.

In Singapore where most housings are built by the government, every citizen is supposed to be able to purchase housing but the supply for low occupancy is limited. Most single people can't buy a home until they are in their late 30's even if they have the same income level as the couples. Some resolve to buy expensive private homes or settle for rental. Couples can easily get a newly built unit in less than 8 months, by just presenting a marriage license.

Like Alan said, I think single girls have more difficult life too. For Chinese New Year, married couples (adults) are suppose to give money($1) in red packets to kids. While people used to get married in their teens, kids are those who are not yet married. The "adults" will give me money and tell me that I should "grow up" and give money to kids next year.

I honestly don't experience a lot of singlism directly in my life - there are several reasons for that, I think mainly involving where I live (California), the field I'm in (academia) and the people I choose to spend time with. So a part of me doesn't really 'get it' and sometimes when you write about singlism, I find myself feeling uncomfortable. But I wanted to comment because I just saw some of the comments on your last post about singlism and matrimania (from 4/29) and they made me think harder about WHY these discussions make me (and others) uncomfortable (btw, I don't think you sound bitter or anything like that - I just find myself wanting to disagree with you, even though I know you are generally right). The thing is, intellectually, I do know this stuff is out there, but as a happily single woman, it just doesn't bother me - I guess when I do recognize it in the media, I just ignore it or laugh about it. To be honest, I think that a part of me feels a bit disdainful of women who buy into all that and actually believe they can't be happy without a husband - after all, it's so obvious that it's wrong, right? That is, singlism and matrimania don't make ME feel bad about myself so it's hard to understand how they can make other women feel bad about themselves (though I'm starting to see how they can lead women to make not-great choices and waste time waiting for Prince Charming). But I'm still not sure why it seems to feel threatening to women like me to have singlism and matrimania pointed out. If you have any thoughts on that, I'd be very interested in hearing them...

I will first say that I'm happily single. I'll be the first to admit I've had my fair share of bad relationships in the past, which have ultimately left me very unhappy. Maybe someday I'll find that special someone who I would like to settle down with, but I don't see that happening any time in the near future. In the meantime, I don't like referring to myself as "single". I don't like the word. I'm not "single". I have a great support system built up around me. Lots and lots of friends, many of them very close. I have a wonderful family and am also very close to them. I have 2 wonderful dogs, which are a full time job by themselves. I'm more than happy with the people that surround me. It seems like many married people assume "single" people are these lonely, miserable, selfish individuals who only care about themselves. This may be true for some, but certainly not me. The advantages of being single to me are numerous. Although, there are several problems I've experienced as an unmarried individual.

I've noticed the most singlism issues in the work environment. Married couples, especially those with kids, seem to think their schedule is somehow superior to mine, because you know, I'm single therefore I don't have responsibilities like they do. A few weeks ago my company was holding a training class, offered on 2 separate days. As soon as I received word about the class, I immediately signed up for the first date, as I had the other day off and was planning to go to my best friends BBQ for the other date. Turns out I was the first person on the list to have signed up, but I wanted to make sure I wasn't dragging my feet to get the the day I wanted. A few weeks went by and 2 days before the training class was held, a company meeting was held. The training dates were brought up, and as you might guess, many people hadn't signed up yet. When they were told they had to sign up because it was a required class, most of them wanted the first day offering. When they were told the first day was full and would have to go on the second day, then then complaints started coming in. "Well, you know, I have daycare arrangements for that day, so I really can't." or "My kids playoffs are on that day, can't make it." or "My kids have doctors appointments that day and it'll be long time to get them in if I reschedule, bla bla". So then they asked if people from the first date would be willing to switch to the second, as there can only be so many per class due to equipment availability, to help meet the others' accomodations. Of course, many were looking to me because they knew I was single, which in their eyes meant, "He can switch because he's single and doesn't have responsibilities." I simply said, sorry, can't switch, I have plans for a BBQ that day. Then it basically turned into my kids are more important that your "leisure" BBQ. So basically, i ended up telling them to shove it, considering I was the first one to sign up, and because they dragged their feet signing up they expect me to change around my schedule to accomodate their kids. That quickly turned into "Well, some of us have kids and a family life bla bla bla." That about set me off.... this is just 1 overexplained example of the BS that goes along with being single at work. On top of not getting excused tardies, as those with kids get, more raises, even promotions when I'm the one with a degree, more experience, less out time and better performance.

I always find it funny when the married coworkers always try to dog on me for being single, when in reality they're the ones that come in overtired and pissed off everyday. I'll trot in well rested with a big smile on my face. Yeah, you're all right, I'm the unhappy one. In my honest opinion, I just think many of them are pissed off that they bought into mainstream society and are now really unhappy (not to say all are), and get mad when they see somebody who hasn't followed that cultural order and looks happier then they are. Almost like "hey buddy, if I followed the rules and got married and am now miserable, then it's only fair that you're miserable too...when are you gonna get married?" It's almost comical to me, but at the same time, some people really are prejudice against me, so in a way it's kind of not because I've got to deal with them on a daily basis. Of course, there's no discrimination laws against singlism, not to mention all the HR people are married with kids, so I probably won't get a spec of sympathy from anybody but other single people. So yeah, that's my way-too-long of a rant. Anybody else ever experience this sort of thing?

and a few others and realizing that I wasn't nuts for recognizing singlism and matrimania in the world, I actually feel better about myself and painted a clearer picture of things. I'm glad I can notice it now. It does make me fume sometimes, but really, it always had, I just didn't realize there was a reason for my anger.

I have always noticed every ism that has effected me (I fit into MANY minority categories), but singlism I always get in the pocketbook. I pay a lot more per unit for smaller portions grocery store, I pay more taxes, and I even got the short shrift on the economic stimulus package this year. Add to it the fact that I'm not just young and single, but personally against marriage, and I'm going to be getting ripped off well into old age! I say get rid of the "family" benefits adn incentives altogether, be they bulk packages of chicken breasts or dependent health care limited to "immediate" family members. Let's ALL be equal under the law.