More than anything, I hate it when people imply that my life is somehow incomplete because I'm not in a relationship, that I am somehow missing out on some amazing experience that only people in committed relationships can experience. I'm not saying that if my 'soulmate' happened to appear, I would tell him to go away, but the idea that without that relationship, I can't possibly have real love, intimacy and passion in my life is just absurd. Thanks for the inspiration Bella!

I think you both are correct.

Being single is too often viewed as a "condition" that needs to be "cured." I have very close friends and family - male and female - from whom I receive plenty of companionship. For some reason, though, society values this less than the companionship that marriage (is supposed to) brings.

Society - particularly through the media - constantly reminds us of this, too. It seems there's a constant drumb beat of commercials that cater towards married couples or simply the idea of being coupled -think "E-harmony;" countless commercials about investing where images of a husband and his wife ponder the future of their children. You get the idea and the list can certainly go on and on.

If you can have marriage without love, I also believe the opposite is true: you can have love without marriage.

I think our narrow defenition of love has served to harm the very relationships it has become defined by. When people are not fully aware of true love existing in thier daily lives, work, family, friends, and adventure, then they are unsure how to keep a marriage alive. A passionate novelist knows how to nurture the passion. She knows when to throw her whole being into the pages she writes and when to disconnect and allow her typewriter to be still. These types of insights could allow a marriage to flourish, but we are inclined to view marital love as something so sacred and so inate that the nurturings of ordinary passions do not apply. We give to sustain the daily things we love but believe relationships will sustain themselves.

I can only wish this kind of message was more available to people, especially kids. I think a lot of kids feel like society wants them to constantly pursue these romanticized relationships, although some of them in fact would be happier or more productive single. There is validity to both sides, but unfortunately popular coverage only gives any voice to one. I can only imagine it would save a lot of grief if more people realized it's okay to not pursue a serious relationship or that there are other kinds of love out there besides marriage. Certainly it would put a lot less emphasis on adolescent conflicts about romance and love that seem to be the cause of so much strife. But at any rate, very good article, I enjoyed it. ^^;

I am a never-married woman, mid-40s, and my life is full of love.

One of the most frustrating argument that I've heard recently is that coupling is natural, driven by the biological need to reproduce. I countered that connecting to other people is what's natural but to no avail...

Is there any research out there on the biological basis (or lack thereof) of coupling? I strongly suspect research would show that coupling for reproduction is natural but this doesn't imply that the couple has to stay together "til death do us part"... Thanks in advance for any leads to research!