Looks like my guesses were wrong - but I believe appropriate if you've read Doctor DePaulo's book. I'm never good at figuring these things out. Oh well.

P.S.
Bella thanks for replying to my query about the Barbara Feldon book. Also, I am really enjoying this forum and I thank you for starting it.

I really liked the "He is secure" comment...
And I also agree with Terry and Ladyexpat's comments. I mean, when you go to a restaurant, it's not like you go looking for a person that's sitting by themselves. Let alone look for anyone. You go and pay attention and have fun with the people you go with.

Or by yourself, which is perfectly fine =]

I really liked the "He is secure" comment...
And I also agree with Terry and Ladyexpat's comments. I mean, when you go to a restaurant, it's not like you go looking for a person that's sitting by themselves. Let alone look for anyone. You go and pay attention and have fun with the people you go with.

Or by yourself, which is perfectly fine =]

mostly, in real life, people don't think about other people at all. They're busy thinking/obsessing/ worrying about themselves, and probably don't even notice that someone over there is sitting alone.

When I was in college, and for many years after, I avoided eating alone in public because I was sure everyone who saw me would think I was a loser. Then I started traveling for work and I had little choice but to eat out by myself. But when I was traveling, I found I was less self-conscious because *I* knew that I was only eating alone because I had to. So one night, I got up the nerve to go alone to a restaurant in my hometown. In my head, I pretended that I was in town on business and this was just like the times I had eaten by myself on trips - and lo and behold, no one seemed to notice me! :-) I'll admit that I still find it easier to dine alone at lunch versus dinner, and I can't bring myself to go to certain restaurants alone, but it's amazing how much easier life gets when you stop thinking you are the center of the universe...

The "spotlight effect" that you mention here is a great thing to keep in mind.

Isn't there research showing that adolescents are especially prone to this, and that most people grow out of it as they mature? I seem to remember this being called the "egocentric bias" or something like that.

As a 20-something, I think of this often in normal social settings. It's easy to think that everyone's looking at you, when in reality you're usually the only one paying any attention! :) It's very freeing to keep that in mind.

From a server's point of view- I have served many people who chose to dine alone.
I think that's a side other people need to see, you can choose to dine with yourself, and a self-assured person has no qualms about that choice. Really, most of the people I served had more confidence and less self-consciousness. I always enjoyed talking to them because they were so relaxed, just taking some time for themselves to enjoy their surroundings and have a good meal.
Either dining with or without someone, both are equally fine, and you should just enjoy what you're doing in that moment. Whether you're truly focusing on how great that maple-glazed salmon stimulates just your taste buds, or splitting a salad with your best friend.

Do you think that the study respondents were aware of the purpose of the study and therefore told the researchers what they wanted to hear(/didn't want to look bad to the researcher)? I've learned this can be a problem with any type of study. Do you think anyone would say "this person is a loser" for fear of looking like a bad person? Also I have to wonder about other factors- the appearance of the person in question being a major one. Do you think if the respondents viewed the people in the photos as attractive or ugly they would come to different conclusions about why they were dining alone?

Also, do you think these results carry over into other venues? Do you think people may be prone to think differently about solo people at bars? movie theaters? concerts, etc?