Living Single

The truth about singles in our society.

By Bella DePaulo

What Counselors and Others Should Know about Singles: Two Chances to Tell Them

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. on July 2, 2009 - 1:43am in Living Single

Here are two wonderful opportunities to tell mental health professionals, and an author of an advice book, what people need to know about the real lives of singles. What do friends, relatives, and counselors get right in their beliefs and in their interactions with you, and what do they still not understand? Share your experiences, and you just may see them reflected in a new family counseling textbook and in a self-help book.

“Avoid Marriage,” Advises Atlantic Writer

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. on June 26, 2009 - 12:16pm in Living Single

Loh embraces the traditionalists' view that divorce hurts, then turns it upside down. The moral of the story, she suggests, is not the old, boring, bedraggled one: Get married and stay that way - no divorcing! Instead, she says, just skip the marriage.

For the Love of Blogging

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. on June 19, 2009 - 2:26am in Living Single

I love the immediacy of blogging, the grass-rootsiness of it, the power it gives to the people to have their own say about what matters. I love what I learn from blogging and reading blogs. I love the opportunity to correct the scientific record. What happens on my blogs does not stay on my blogs - I really love that.

If You Get Married, Will You Sleep Better?

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. on June 13, 2009 - 9:07pm in Living Single

Start with women only. Set aside the African-Americans and the Chinese. Look at the people who got married. Not when they first got married, because their sleep is restless then. Not the people who got married and then divorced, because their sleep is not so good, either. Also, within the married group that is already rigged (because everyone who got married, hated it, and then got divorced has been taken out of the married group), rig it even more by underscoring just those who are happily married. There you go! That's the evidence that getting married makes you sleep better!

“I Didn’t Work This Hard Just to Get Married”

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. on June 9, 2009 - 2:16am in Living Single

What is single life like for singles at the apex of racism, sexism, and singlism? Here are some stereotype-defying success stories without a trace of victimhood.

Wedding Season 3: ‘Parasite Singles’ Revisited

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. on June 7, 2009 - 3:22am in Living Single

Gatherings of the so-called ‘parasite singles' - dinners out, travel adventures, shopping trips - really were communal. Whole groups of women participated as equals. No one woman, and no pair, was singled out as special and above all the rest. The bonds they cherished as lasting were with each of the other women. These women were not narrowly linking themselves to just one other person.

Wedding Season 2: Weddings Weren’t Always Like This

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. on June 5, 2009 - 2:47pm in Living Single

In the first post in this Wedding Season series, I took on the caricatures of single people as selfish by comparing them to the top-this extravaganzas that many contemporary weddings have become. Here, I share something that really grabbed me about some of the ceremonies of the past: They were more likely to underscore the links between the couple and the other people in their lives than the specialness of the couple apart from everyone else. Read More

Wedding Season 1: Newlyweds vs. “Parasite Singles”

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. on June 5, 2009 - 2:57am in Living Single

Do you think that singles are selfish and self-centered? It's wedding season. Let's consider today's newlyweds. This is the first in a series of Living Single posts on Wedding Season.

Magical Friendship-Making Moments

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. on June 1, 2009 - 3:36am in Living Single

The beginnings of wonderful friendships often have something striking in common. The friends come together at a time that is emotionally consequential; they are experiencing the same big change in their lives.

Obama’s Supreme Court Pick Is a Woman, a Latina, and…Single!

By Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. on May 27, 2009 - 1:44am in Living Single

Sonia Sotomayor, President Obama's nominee for the Supreme Court, is a woman, a Latina, and she's single. Inspired by a comment left by a reader on my post about David Souter, I ask someone who knew Sotomayor at Yale to share her impressions of this historic candidate.

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Masturbation Paranoia May Cause Cancer
by Christopher Ryan
2

The Fundamentals of Therapy Part I
by Ryan Howes, Ph.D.
3

Fascinating Figures: Alan Watts
by Christopher Ryan
4

George Carlin's Last Interview
by Jay Dixit
5

Optimism
by Gordon S. Livingston

1

Masturbation Paranoia May Cause Cancer
by Christopher Ryan
2

Love and Time
by Gordon S. Livingston
3

Optimism
by Gordon S. Livingston
4

The Fundamentals of Therapy Part I
by Ryan Howes, Ph.D.
5

Worry About Adolescence, But Not Too Much
by Carl Pickhardt, Ph.D.