Follow These 3 Words to Jump Start Your Love

William James (1842 to 1910) considered to be the father of psychology, spoke these famous words, "act as if what you do makes it different. It does."

It can work wonders for your relationship, if you apply the wisdom of William James to your romance. To do this, just keep these three words in mind: "ACT AS IF."

When you act romantically, you are romantic. When you act considerately, you are considerate. When you act attentively, you are attentive.

Hold on now! I know what you may be thinking as you read this. Look, I'm not saying that you should be smiling when inside you are fuming, and that you should make a practice of faking your real feelings. In fact, if you are mired in toxic thoughts, you may want to read this recent post to identify and overcome them: Do Any of These 9 Toxic Thoughts Threaten Your Relationship?

What I am saying is that to give romance in your relationship a jumpstart, it all begins with your actions. This is more the case than most of us realize or want to realize.

Don't wait for your partner to "act as if" first. Don't wait until you have that warm and fuzzy feeling in your stomach again – it may be a long time in coming unless someone takes action. Take the initiative. Start with gentle handholding, light squeeze on the shoulder, a hug, or a light kiss on the lips. Express a warranted, sincere compliment. Let your partner know what you admire about her or him. Go slow and steady. Just make up your mind that if you act as if you are more loving and romantic, your relationship will be more loving and romantic.

Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein is a psychologist with over 23 years of experience specializing in child, adolescent, couples, and family therapy. He holds a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the State University of New York at Albany and completed his post-doctoral internship at the University of Pennsylvania Counseling Center. He has appeared on the Today Show, Court TV as an expert advisor, CBS Eyewitness News Philadelphia, 10! Philadelphia—NBC, and public radio. Dr. Bernstein has authored four books, including the highly popular 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child (Perseus Books, 2006), 10 Days to a Less Distracted Child (Perseus Books 2007), Why Can't You Read My Mind? , and Liking the Child You Love, Perseus Books 2009).