As a parent, you are likely doing a good amount of yelling. If you turn things around and think about how you respond when your spouse, boss, or any other adult yells at you, it will be quite illuminating. Consider the following questions:
• When you are yelled at, do you respond to yelling warmly and positively, eager to grant every demand?
• Are you inwardly plotting how you’ll pay that so-and- so back?
• Do you feel a sense of inadequacy?
• Is it hard to let go of negative thoughts and feelings that arise after being yelled at?
By reading through and reflecting on these questions, you’ve gotten an up close and personal perspective on what it’s like to be on the receiving end of the negative impact of yelling. As you can see, yelling harms your child’s feelings about himself. The bottom line is that it’s important to think about how often you shout at your children, what you say, and what else is happening in their lives. I have summarized below the reasons yelling is troublesome to defiant children.