Liking the Child You Love

How to build a better relationship with your kids—even when they're driving you crazy.

A Magic Word to Overcome Anxiety

Anxiety can be lowered by the way you choose to think.

A few months ago I attended a helpful professional conference about strategies to lower anxiety. Dr. Stanley Hibbs, the presenter, shared an innovative strategy involving a powerful, anxiety dissolving word. As Dr. Hibb's puts it, "This word helps combat discouragement and turns potentially disastrous days into productive ones. It's good for your health, your self-esteem, and can make you a more productive, better person." The magic word is "Nevertheless." Here's some examples of how he uses it:

  • "I'm tired and I've earned the right to goof off. Nevertheless, I can get a few more things done and then relax." 
  • "It's very cold outside and I don't feel like walking today. Nevertheless, it's very important so I'm going to do it anyway."
  • "I'm upset and ice cream is my comfort food. Nevertheless, I will find a better way to deal with my feelings."
  • "I think I will fail this test but, nevertheless, I am going to start studying and give it my best."

If you try using this word in earnest you'll likely see its power. Dr. Hibb's states that "Nevertheless" allows us to pause and realize that we have choices. There are always reasons (or excuses) to succumb to anxiety and to do what's unhealthy, unproductive, or morally questionable. Nevertheless, we can still choose to do the right thing.

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You may question if the word, "nevertheless", will help you move past your anxiety and its related challenges. Nevertheless, if you give it a try, you will likely find that this word packs a lot of punch to knock out your anxiety.

For further reading on Nevertheless and Stanley Hibbs, Ph.D, go to http://www.drhibbs.com/index.php 

Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein is a psychologist with over twenty years experience specializing in child, adolescent, couples, and family therapy. He holds a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the State University of New York at Albany and completed his post doctoral internship at the University of Pennsylvania Counseling Center. He has appeared on the The Today Show, Court TV as an expert advisor, CBS eyewitness news Philadelphia, 10! Philadelphia—NBC and public radio. Dr. Bernstein has authored four books, including the highly popular 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child (Perseus Books, 2006) and 10 Days to Less Distracted Child (Perseus Books 2007).

Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., has authored four books, including 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child.

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