Liking the Child You Love

How to build a better relationship with your kids--even when they're driving you crazy.

by Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein

Ways to Control Impulsivity in Children and Teens

Ways to Control Child and Teen Impulsive Behaviors

Published on May 26, 2010 by Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D. in Liking the Child You Love

If your child is having difficulties with impulsive behaviors, please consider trying the following strategies, which may be helpful.

• Encourage your child to think, "How I will feel afterward (after receiving the consequences of my actions)?"

• Convey that, "What feels good to do right now, may not be good for me later on."

• Disclose, with discretion, about times when you as a parent fell into the impulsivity trap.

• Remind your child about the value of taking deep breaths, counting to ten, taking a break, or healthily distracting oneself from stressful situations (model this yourself and you will have even more credibility).

• "Call out" your child about times when he or she does show self-control.

• Keep a log of when your child shows self control so that you don't overly generalize negative behaviors in your mind or in how you speak to your child or teen.

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• Encourage your child to become involved/get re-involved in physical activities and other kinds of healthy interests that allow for blowing off steam.

• Remember that life, to a large extent comes down to healthy self-soothing and problem solving and keep promoting this message to your child or teen.

For further information on controlling impulsivity in children and teens see my books, 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child or 10 Days to a Less Distracted Child (DaCapo Life Long Books)