How many of you parents out there "lose it " out of the blue? I am a yeller in recovery.
And after twenty years of working with frustrated parents I saw something crucial was missing. I mean really missing! Many had been to past counselors with their kids only to end up more discouraged and frustrated in trying to make their relationship work. One day, during one of my sessions, I heard the frustrations of a mom exclaiming about her daughter, "I love her but I am scared because I realize I don't like her."
It is normal to have these feelings from time to time. Hoping your child's challenging ways, however, will just fade away on their own is a recipe for parenting relationship disaster. I discovered parents became more effective with their kids when they focus on changing their own toxic thoughts instead of overly focusing on their child's problems. As my forthcoming book, Liking the Child You Love, explains, toxic thoughts in parenting lead to Parent Frustration Syndrome (PFS). Once these thoughts are identified and overcome, it becomes much eaiser to maintain your cool when your kids are challenging and defiant. I welcome feedback from all of you out there on this topic.
