Lifetime Connections

Exploring women's relationships in families and friendscapes

Relationship Threats: Are You a Drama Queen?

8 Questions to Ask Yourself to Measure your DQ - Drama Quotient Are you a drama queen or are the experiences in your life really just that juicy? Read More

Drama Queen AKA Narcissist

A rose is a rose by any other name is still a rose.

lol.. good one

lol.. good one

Drama Queen Neighbor

I recently had a neighbor drama queen experience. I shot a video from my own backyard of my dogs barking at a kid walking her dog up the street. If you were to see the video, you'd see my dogs in the fore ground and her daughter far in the background. I am female by the way. That night I get an email from the mother of the kid asking me why I photographed her. I was taken by surprise at the ridiculousness of her outrage. At the very beginning she says her daughter "freaks out about everything" and then the mother proceeds to freak out herself and ENABLE the daughter's behavior. I calmly tried to tell the mother that there are cameras everywhere one goes now a days and I don't get why she's upset. Cell phone cameras, people carrying cameras, security cameras every where. I said if your daughter was doing nothing wrong, why get freaked out? I said it sounds like the kid has self esteem problems, then drama queen mother hits the roof!
I didn't mean it as an insult, only that many teenagers are very unsure of themselves. Then drama queen mom threatens to call the police claiming that according to our state law, it is illegal to photograph minors without the permission of the parent. I emailed her back and told her to go ahead and call the police, and make a fool of herself, because she was very wrong about the law. The law states there is no expectation of privacy, regardless of age, in public places such as the street. I told her that according to her way of thinking everyone's home security cameras would be illegal. She didn't apologize for making a fool of herself and ran around the neighborhood slandering me for the crime of the century that didn't occur! She and her husband by the way have a history of making up lies about people, then gossipping about whom ever stirring up garbage in the neighborhood. I feel that drama queen mom projected her inability to handle her daughter's "freaking out" onto me. She enables her daughter's behavior and in the end is teaching her that it's ok to blow everything out of proportion and to slander and harass the supposed offender. This mother did acknowledge in our email exchange that she knows people don't like her, yet she doesn't seem to connect the dots that her behavior is the reason.
It seems to me that the drama queen mother has taught her daughter to be just like her. And in the end, when that girl grows up, buys a home, will pull similar drama queen stunts on her neighbors, pretend to be the victim, complaining that "nobody likes me". It is impossible to reason with the DQ mother, as she obviously won't admit she's wrong. It is very difficult to want to help someone like that when she's trying to set the neighborhood against me.
The only thing I can think of doing is ignoring her and hoping that most people in the neighborhood recognize what she and her husband are about. Nothing but trouble. I'm guessing her husband doesn't have a spine, because he seems to go along with whatever drama and malicious gossip she comes up.

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Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, is a licensed counselor and professor at Northern Illinois University.

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