Now that our real couple, Elizabeth and Brian, has come to a place where they can view the world through the eyes of “Couple”, the power of practicing this way of being becomes apparent. While completing the last assignment of reviewing their vision charts, they said that they could see “how in sync they are now “moving forward and also seeing the different qualities each of us bring to the couple.”
On the acknowledging exercise, they acknowledged each other every day for something they each contributed to the family that day. For example, Elizabeth thanked Brian for cleaning the kitchen, and he thanked her for starting their son’s treatments earlier, a new possibility for them. In doing the exercise on making three requests, they focused this time on things they wanted from each other. They both were able to decline one of the requests, accept another, and “even counter-offer as well.” This was a breakthrough for them, since they had not been completely open and direct about requesting things of each other in the past.
A powerful way to see the world through the eyes of couple, is to focus on using the term “we” whenever you would use the word “I” in communicating with each other. You are probably already using the word “we” in saying your proclamation every day. You can also use “we” to emphasize your joint responsibility for whatever is going on in your relationship, even when it may seem awkward. For example, if you say, “we’re angry” when one of you is upset, it will help you take joint responsibility for the situation and feel more accepting of each other.