Self-absorption is a dead end. None of us can be but so marvelous as to warrant our undivided attention! How can we spring ourselves from this self-imposed jail sentence? For my students of all ages and for me, giving long-overdue time to capturing and restoring our sense of gratitude is the antidote for the spinning cycle of egotism. It is no longer "what have you done for me lately, world?" or "why are you doing this to me again, world?" Life becomes more and more a chant of deep-seated repetitions of "thank you." I am reminded of Alanis Morissette's tune "Thank U." And Darrell Scott's "It's a Great Day to Be Alive." So how about thanks and being alive?
No wonder Atlas shrugged! Propping up the world on our shoulders, believing and behaving as though we are the center of it all... all of this labor is futile and exhausting. I gather in circles with children and adults as we reexamine the meaning of gratitude and realize its immense value in our lives. Without thankfulness, we can never get over our preening self-importance. The world will always owe us something, a lot of things, unless we are alert to all that we have been given. So, an ongoing assignment of lasting benefit is one that you may like to try....
After a period of thinking, five minutes at the very least or a day or two at the even better, look within and begin to write about the things for which you are grateful. Move past the obvious and what comes quickly. Think hard about grand gifts that you may overlook; indeed, recognize gifts that you may never have considered. Examples of new found gratitude come to mind from philosophy circles over the years. From children: being able to run at recess and the P.E. teacher who blows the whistle; having someone listen; the shock of knowing how to read; finding courage whenever I need it, even if it's a lot of times; feeling like I matter; drawing in a big breath. From the older children: realizing that I have opportunities when I thought I had lost all my chances; becoming aware of how many people made my life possible through their striving, including so many people that I will never know; having the ability to correct mistakes and change direction; paying attention to nature's boundless mystery and beauty and wondering as I did as a child; welcoming the relief that comes wtih humility; reveling in the moments when I am completely relaxed; holding hands.
Listen to Zen Master Shunryu Suzuki in his book, Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind: "When we forget ourselves...we can enjoy our life." Do you believe that? Are you surprised at your list of things for which you are grateful? How did the recognition of gratitude feel? Would you trade self-absorption for relishing a simple pleasure? What kind of trail does the narcissist blaze?
Let the list grow. Mine stretches far and wide.
