Feeling understood on the level of the soul is far more sexy than sex itself. Restoring such excitement to the marriage is the best recourse for those who want to go on enjoying the privilege of having a partner throughout life. Read More
Finally seeing our parents as people is similar to reading a novel at twenty and then reading it again at forty. The reader changes so much in the intervening years that the book seems entirely different. In the second reading, passages that were barely noticed before become significant and moving, and chapters previously skimmed become central. Read More
Inside all of us is a great pool of grief that keeps enlarging as each fresh loss is added to the others. This is why we often find ourselves weeping for earlier losses along with a present heartache. Sometimes even a sad scene in a movie will get me into that pool, and my tears flow from that indistinguishable source. Read More
Life gets better on every level as we get older, except the physical, but stereotypes about aging are so insidious and the physical realities are so prominent that we miss seeing the inner radiance that so many attain. Read More
I don’t carry a cell phone or a web-connected device. I can’t stand the idea of having my attention taken away from who or what is immediately around me. I like to be where I am. Especially if I am walking with a beloved person in the woods near my home, I wouldn’t want to be transported electronically to the vicinity of some other person and place.
Imagine being able to rise above an immediate frustration, to relegate it to a pile of trivial concerns and feel much less bothered. We are constantly assailed with pettiness – tasks, errands, irritants, disputes and ordinary mishaps – and so being able to call up a larger, overriding perspective is surely a key to living well. How do we acquire and hone this capacity? Read More
There are so many things I used to put up with when I was younger. I would tolerate situations I hated for the longest time. I don’t think I even recognized when I was miserable—in relationships, at work, whatever. Now, I pay attention to how I’m feeling, how I’m reacting. I respect my own sense of what’s going on. I don’t force myself to take it.Read More
At any point in the lifespan, we can choose to heed the call of the finest aspects of our character. If we have veered off course through avoidance, we can decide to dedicate ourselves to facing the challenges we have evaded. By opening ourselves to the full range of feelings, we can examine what is behind our most difficult emotions. Read More
One of the great discoveries as we age is how much better life gets, once we have started mastering the skills of living well. Acknowledging these gains and recognizing the specific advantages that accrue gives them even more heft.