Let Their Words Do the Talking

Verbal cues to detect deception.

Reflected Selfies

Selfies are obnoxious and self-serving. Reflected selfies achieve the same goal but with style, class, and finesse. Read More

Reflective selfie

Is the reflective selfie truly a reflection of the narcissistic? I say, nay, nay. The reflective selfie could be nothing more than an honest opps; an accident with unintended consequences. Even if of intended results, the soothsayer may see the reflective selfie as a serendipitous form of art. If viewed as an artful hologram, a souvenir of the moment and the person who took the photo, then the act is a selfless gift. The narcissist is the dark cloud who openly dominates the memorable moment or photo-bombs a picture taken by another.

That begs the question, can one photo-bomb a reflective selfie? I say yea. The shrewd and the insidious can instantly transform the reflective selfie into a photo-bombed cataclysmic debacle. By having a reflective backdrop, such as a store front window or mirror, the photographer can capture the original image, their reflection in the reflective material in front of them, and a reflection of their reflection from the reflective material behind them. Such malice aforethought surely supports narcissism. Not only is the offender surreptitiously imbedding their own image into another’s photo once, they are doing it twice. Ergo, a photo-bombed reflective selfie is not a gift; rather it is a noxious product.

The authored opined that the reflective selfie is representative of an introverted narcissist. However, the covertness of a reflective selfie is the antithesis of narcissism. Yet, I posit the author is correct! The true narcissist would openly include him or her in the photo, or photo-bomb a picture being taken by another. But, the stealth involved in an intended photo-bombed reflective selfie is the epitome of introversion. One who goes to such lengths as to be maliciously undetected could hardly be considered extroverted.

So I say kudos to you, Mr. Schafer. You have not only stumbled upon a great discovery, you have correctly discovered a new means of expression. Yet, as with all things, leave it to someone to come up with a way to ruin it. For that I atone for my sins. I say use the reflective selfie for good, not for evil.

A sinister scheme

Oh, the schemes that bubble up from deep within the human mind. Your attonement serves merely as a fig leaf for the greater sin thus committed. Your open praise hides your real hidious intent. Only a true introverted narrcist could photo-bomb my blog with such sinister sincerity. Come out of the narcistic closet, sir, and see by the light of day.

Reflective selfie

How about a reflective selfie road not yet traveled in this threaded discussion? What about the poor unsuspecting subjects who may unintentionally, or intentionally, get caught in the web that is the selfie? One routinely sees selfies posted on- line whose content contains hidden treasures. For example, there was the selfie of a couple of girls who caught the Queen of England in their selfie that went viral. Unsuspecting parties have been captured for all of time in countless selfies. However, that has been open, and sometimes even notorious. “Revenge selfies” pop up quite often in an attempt to hurt or embarrass others. But what about the use of the reflective selfie for such malevolent intentions? Even if the consequences are not intended, the reflective selfie can impose irreparable harm. So, riddle me this, caped crusader. When does the reflective selfie become a legal issue, photo-bombed or not? Could not the public posting of reflective selfies on social media without the consent of those involved be a legal issue? Surely, sir, you will say those in the public domain have no right to privacy, and I concur. But is a reflective image, a hologram of a person, if you will, considered a person. Does it fall under public domain? What if the reflective selfie was taken of people in public, but from a private setting? Have we sufficiently pontificated that? Maybe Carly Simon is correct. Maybe this song really isn’t about you, the introverted narcissist.

Oh my, could this all be a

Oh my, could this all be a moot point? Did I just wake up from a bad dream? Is the reflective selfie really just a groupie?

Club of One

Enough talk about others. The definition of narcissism is about the self. I am the focus of attention not you or anyone else intentionally or accidently captured in photographs. Your deep concern for others prevents you from joining the Club of One. You may have your groupie, sir. As for me, I prefer the singular reflected selfie, sans the cape.


But without others, it is like a tree falling in the forest. If no one is there to hear it, who cares? The narcissist, closet or otherwise, needs others to be the focus of attention. That is especially true of the closet narcissist. So if, as you say, it is just all about you, then really “F” up someone’s photo. When they hand you the camera, turn it on yourself, snap the shutter, and hand it back. The dropping jaws should satisfy even the most insatiable narcissist. But the closet narcissist using a reflective selfie to feed their need requires others to see it, either then or later. If there are no others, that tree in the forest simply falls on deaf ears.

Mythological Mistake

My friend, you forgot your mythology. Narcissus did not need others, only a reflecting pool in which to see himself. Ergo, the tree fell and no noise was heard.

Really, my myopic adversary?

Really, my myopic adversary? You say, and I quote:

“Enough talk about others. The definition of narcissism is about the self. I am the focus of attention not you or anyone else intentionally or accidently captured in photographs. Your deep concern for others prevents you from joining the Club of One.”

Look around, Jack. You see anyone else on this blog? It is you and me. Mono e mono. I have taken over your blog. You have become obsessed with responding to me. It is all about me now, not you. Sure, you started the discussion, because only you have the administrative ability to do so. But I have hi-jacked the conversation, and made it all about me. I am the focus now. You might want to flip through your family photos. Who knows, you might even see a reflective selfie in a few and wonder, who is that? Ta, ta, my cyber-friend. I am off to insert myself into someone else’s life, for it is all about me.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • You may quote other posts using [quote] tags.

More information about formatting options

John R. "Jack" Schafer, Ph.D., earned his degree in psychology from Fielding Graduate University, Santa Barbara, California and served as a behavioral analyst for the FBI.


Subscribe to Let Their Words Do the Talking

Current Issue

Let It Go!

It can take a radical reboot to get past old hurts and injustices.