Let Their Words Do the Talking

yes, i appreciate the effort of you writing this article , i suppose a lot of research has been behind it.
thanks :^) keep them coming

Have you stopped beating your wife? - is a simple yes or no question.

I found the examples of conversations highly artificial and doubt that real people talk like that. Granted, my native language is not English so I may be mistaken. But if someone asks you yes or no question about something serious there is definitely some accusation going on.

I was once accused of shoplifting. I made a big scandal on the spot, and I was shouting and agreed to search of my bag only when police arrived. I was innocent of course, but I was also indignant that some stupid security man would accuse me of stealing even though I wasn't doing anything suspicious. I have never shoplifted in my life. Later I became ashamed about my anger and improper behavior. I could simply show my bag and be free to go in one minute. Instead, I was delayed for two hours in a very unpleasant situation. It was really stupid on my part. It also shows that even honest people may sometimes act unpredictably and young people can become confrontational if you ask them seemingly simple yes or no questions.

In each of the instances that you were asked a Yes or No questions, you failed to answer appropriately because you over thought the question. Your responses sent a signal to the security person that something was not quite right. He then sent you to secondary for further inquiry. Fortunately, in your case, the suspicions were not confirmed and you were let go. The Poor Man's Polygraph is not absolute. It only provides deception indicators. Remember, our security has to be right 100% of the time; our enemies only have to be right one out of a 100 times.

Really? How exactly do we judge that?

As for Brooke, if you have been asked questions such as "Do you do drugs?" by your parents and answered with a Yes or No question, then LOL.

If I was asked such a silly question in adolescence by my parent, I would think to myself for a second and say, WELL, we all are on some kind of drug... The drugs in the food we eat, the caffeine we drink, the alcohol your (my) parents presumably drink...

Uh oh, that's a deception indicator! I guess I was just OVER-THINKING the question!

Now I am starting to see the absurdity.

If you are looking for deception you will find it.

You get what you give?

How was it evasive? What I stated was fact, not opinion. It also answered the question: yes, I do do drugs. I learned it from you, Dad!

You can consider anything disrespectful, so whatever. Fact is I consider a parent asking me that disrespectful.

Now that I have some time to extrapolate I shall.

I feel your method of detecting "deception" is really just a method used to control.

Control is not the same thing as respect. You can ask me "Do you do drugs?" and you may coerce me into an answer, but you cannot coerce me into YOUR answer. I will only give you the answer you are looking for when there is respect.

From there you can read into it however you like, but your interpretations tell me exactly that: about YOU.

"... I would have considered that as evasive and disrespectful. Honest people are neither."

Humans are not rigid things. I am extremely honest, if I do say so myself, and I am telling you exactly how I believe it is. You can skate around it and look for deception because (I feel) you do not feel comfortable with the truth I am telling you (keeping in mind it is only MY truth, not absolute truth), but it does not indicate absolute deception, only the "deception" that you choose to perceive.

It is easy to see how you extrapolate what you do because you are taking one yes/no question out of context.

Parents shouldn't approach their kids with ONLY a yes/no question. I am assuming that in the "do you use drugs" example, there was a conversation that built up to the question, just like in the example of cheating on exams. In that case, the conversation started because a teacher called.

If I suspect my kid of using drugs, there is something behind that suspicion. I enter into a conversation that builds to the question. If my kid understands why I am asking a direct question, he will be less likely to evade or feel disrespected--if he is innocent--because he knows that my question comes from a place of care and concern, not disrespect.

If I approach the question in this manner and my kid gives me an answer like you suggested earlier, then I will be highly suspicious that he is being deceptive (as well as being disrespectful). While it is true that most people have the reflex to answer a surprise question with a denial, you can avoid that by engaging in meaningful dialogue first.

I've worked with teens for many years and IN GENERAL, deceptive kids are evasive and disrespectful, even when treated with complete respect. Kids that are straight-forward with their answers and engage in a conversation respectfully are usually truthful--or have learned to lie so proficiently that their issues go way beyond normal social interaction.

If suppose that I know when I reach home, my dad is going to to ask me about drugs.. I pre-plan reactions. I will deny everything my dad asks me right away.

It works the same way like the airport example mentioned by KasparsM above. If you know what questions are going to be asked, or if your motive is to cover the truth at all costs, you will automatically just say NO to prevent any further interrogation wouldn't you? At least i know i do that. Just say a no and lie point blank.

The truthful answer to that question is nearly always going to be yes.