Although this is a blog about children and adolescents, I felt it appropriate to start with a post on moms in honor of Mother's Day. There's been a lot of research and discussion surrounding mothers and their impact on their children. The practice of blaming moms for their children's problems has a long history (and I'm not just talking about those comments by your mother-in-law). For everything from
autism to
eating disorders, mothers and their behavior are linked up with
childhood problems in research and popular media. More recently, issues with children are blamed on working mothers not being home or the fact that children have to attend daycare. Is this fair? Let's examine the facts. Of course there are research studies that demonstrate a link between maternal behaviors and certain psychological issues, but I'm suggesting that we take a look at the larger systems that set up these no-win situations for moms and their children.
For example, might the fact that the United States is one of only four countries in the world without paid maternity leave for mothers in any segment of the workforce (the others are Liberia, Papua New Guinea, and Swaziland) contribute to some of these childhood problems? What about the fact that childcare in the United States costs between $4,000 and $10,000 a year for each child? And don't forget to couple that with the fact that a full one-quarter of families with children under age six earned less than $25,000 in 2001. All too often larger, systematic issues are not discussed in research or the media in favor of concentrating on group or individual characteristics and behaviors. However, we all exist inside these systems which do influence our lives and our parenting in many ways. I'm all for people taking responsibility for their actions towards others, but in my mind we have to include systems like our government, our educational systems, our health care systems, and their respective policies in that discussion.
People have been celebrating motherhood long before the first Mother's Day. In terms of the formal holiday here in the United States, it was originally more of a day of activism on various topics from sanitation issues to anti-war movements and was mostly celebrated by women's peace groups. If you're looking to take some activist steps in honor of Mother's Day check out momsrising.org. And remember your mom is important; she just may not be the all-powerful determiner of your destiny that some would have you believe.
