Just Listen

This means replacing the abusive, critical, avoidant, neglectful, or overindulgent and authoritarian voice (columns one, two and three below) in your head with the voice of the supportive, authoritative role model, mentor or coach (column four).

So instead of hearing those negative voices from your past, you may want to conjure up the image and voice of that supportive person telling you to pause when you most feel like reacting or doing something impulsive.

I'm listening for these voices: Voice of that supportive person telling you to pause when you most feel like reacting or doing something impulsive.

The Super-ego is made up of male voices. Man up and Sing!

Your article is spot on, i recently hit a difficult time in my life and is currently, trying to build the supportive voice of reassuring myself and trying to build my self-confidence to go on, move-on, try again and to not let that obstacle stop me from winning.

Thank you for your article.

A

The world is not a place to explore. It is a place that demands accountability and conformity and will get it because you have no inherent worth or right to exist. If you are unable to adapt and adjust to the world's demands, you are nothing - plenty of others who can will take your place. If you are unable to hit the required targets, just give up..Thr world moves too fast for anyone who can't keep pace.

This is indeed wonderful advice, but a lot easier said than done...
Many of us have difficulty realizing what we're doing to ourselves and surely have difficulty finding a "coach" who speaks in terms of love, adequacy, suport, "can-do spirit", etc.
The voices of childhood are deeply ingrained and difficult to root out: "you're not good enough...what's wrong with you...how could you screw up....if you don't do it perfectly, then I will [beat you, ignore you, punish you, send you to an orphanage.."; or: "you're worthless, you will always fail, you're no good, you were a mistake..." etc.

I am intrigued by the large numbers of psychologits and psychiatrists who come from essentially loving, nurturing mainstream ideal childhoods and then preach to those who were traumatized about how "all you need to do is think of yourself differently...".
Rather than being so judgmental, you ought to be a bit more sympathetic and aware: much of adult dysfunction was born in the crucible of parental abuse and neglect...

Hi everyone,

I thank you very much for this article. This is exactly what I have been looking for. I think of myself as the man that is not living up to his potential. Since I was born family members tell me that I can be the better, do more things and succeed in anything. But my attitude and the way I live my life have been the main reasons why I don't transform this enormous potential into acts and eventually into a fulfilled life.

I have followed your advice and I spoke with my inner coach with whom I have had a good conversation like it was mentioned in the article. Right after that I have felt a huge positive change in my attitude and all. It lasted about 3 or 4 days and now I feel almost like I felt before which means lazy and disconnected ...

What i wanted to ask is : ' is it normal to feel this way ? and should I repeat the conversation my inner coach every time I feel like i am loosing steam ? '

Thank you,

AA