When you have nothing left to lose
the opportunity to exact revenge on your perceived tormentors
can become irresistible, intoxicating and addictive
Let’s hope we’re not counting our chickens before they’re hatched, but at least for 9/11-9/12 we seem to have prevented and therefore avoided another terrorist attack. Given all the security measures being taken, it seems that our fears are that terrorism is like a malignant, malicious cockroach that can always find a way in. I agree that we need to be ever vigilant about those measures, but it might also be helpful to figure out the mind of a terrorist and what fuels their terrorist behavior. If we could do that, go inside and intervene with that mind and mindset, that would also be a helpful way to prevent such actions in the future.
Terrorism occurs when the have-nots of the world, who feel so disenfranchised, so ignored, so disdained, and so discouraged that they have nothing left to lose cross over into impotent rage and discover the irresistible, intoxicating rush of power at being able to exact revenge on the haves by terrorizing them. After feeling so powerless for so long, that kind of power becomes addictive. So even during those times when they are not engaged in terrorist activity, they never move any closer to normalcy than being an extremist.
I for one don’t believe that people are born terrorists.
I think people are all born vulnerable, powerless, and helpless infants. How the world from your parents, to siblings, to extended family, to friends, to school mates, to community, to the media around you responds (or fails to respond) to that state of utter helplessness can greatly affect the personality you develop and how you then interact with the world.
If when you feel utterly vulnerable you are overprotected and indulged by parents who over identify with your anxiety and want to make it go away, you will grow up spoiled with nobody to bail you out when you discover a world that won’t coddle you.
If instead you are reacted to with anger, blame and shaming, fear and hurt inside you can harden into anger and rage that will seek revenge when you’re older. At the very least, you will turn into a blamer, shamer, finger pointer, not to mention the kind of dinner guest that everybody wishes would not show up.
Or if instead you are reacted to with total indifference and abandonment, left to your own resources and abilities to survive and make it through, you can become tough and strong (or just give up and turn to drugs, etc.), but you’re not likely to be too patient with the softer people. This is the problem for many Gen X’ers who were left on their own. Many of them have become tough, strong and successful, but cannot stand the Baby Boomers who they see as greedy or their Millennial children who they see as spoiled and acting entitled.
There is a final alternative, but sadly it is far rarer than the other three responses. And that is if you are supported in the way an excellent coach or mentor responds. Those people will see where you can be great and help you achieve it; they will stand up for you to anyone that will try to take unfair advantage of you; they will stand by you in crisis and they will stand up to you to stop you from doing something utterly stupid or foolish. They not only make you want to do a better job, they make you want to be a better person.
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