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Community, and how we develop the ones that meet our needs, is a fascinating reflection of timing, circumstance, location and intent.
The community I appreciate now is a mix of family, old friends, new friends, and people I haven't even met.
I am blessed with so many old friends that naming them could take up this entire post. But this time around, I want to acknowledge how going through cancer broadened and deepened my understanding of what community really is.
I never would have met Robin, for example, who is now one of my most treasured friends, had it not been for cancer. She is the ostomy nurse at the local hospital, and after my anal cancer progressed to rectal cancer, I needed a surgery that would obligate me to a colostomy for the rest of my life. Robin was the nurse who helped figure out some logistics, but it was her gentle wisdom and reassurance that left a lasting mark on my heart.
Cancer also introduced me to Cindy. I went to her for micro-current treatments after the surgery wouldn't heal since my skin had been so badly radiated. Over the course of many months of treatment, we sat for hours and talked. We still do, but now the conversations are over a glass of wine or some healthy food spiced with the laughter and tears of our current storyline.
Other local doctors and health-care providers have become part of my community, but it is those people whom I've never even met that make me marvel at the positive changes that the combination of disease and technology has granted us.
Several years ago, my 8th grade boyfriend, Steve, Googled me and soon, we reconnected. He lives in Florida (where we met) and I live in Colorado, but after some 35 years of no communication, we saw each other during his annual pilgrimage to the Telluride Bluegrass Festival. He is married to a woman who used come with him in between the triathlons they participated in, but Joan is now dealing with MS and can neither travel nor move so swiftly. Joan and I have never met, but we have grown a supportive and uplifting relationship through email. She has been a huge champion of my book and my perspective on healing. Meanwhile, I stand by her in a virtual way, believing that someday she will come to the festival again and feel the strength of her physical body in ways that now elude her.
There are other people who are part of the fabric of my community whom I've not met. Many are negotiating their way through the cancer journey. With each person who reaches out to me, my community grows larger. And what I so appreciate is that we're reveling mostly in the hope and promise that the choices we're making to be well are right and empowering for us-no matter what other people do or think. We're supporting each other's strengths and inner authority. We're sharing new ways of healing from cancer because we're aware of both the ups and downs of conventional treatments and we know there are more ways to heal than just a few.
The last few months have been tough for me. Scar tissue grew deep inside my hip near my sciatic nerve. It was removed in July, but the nerve still recalls the injury and it's still very painful. Because of the pain, I've been in and out of low-grade depression and less involved with my vast and diverse community. But through this, I've been astounded at what community has done for me: Whether they are mined from the silver of old relationships or the gold of new ones, whether I've been drinking up their physical presence in my life for decades or whether I've never even seen their photo, I've gained love and support in ways I didn't suspect-and that my mother never would have dreamed of. The phone calls from friends and emails from "strangers" have been nothing short of sustaining. Comments and "Likes" on Facebook have been like little jolts of spiritual pain medication. The messages I get weekly from someone who is grateful for my book and wants to share their own story of healing enables me to relax, let go and breathe more confidently into my own healing.
Community has never been defined so richly and deeply. Even though I have had the urge to heal in hibernation and sit in the stillness of solitude, I cannot dismiss how fortunate I am to live in a time when each one of us is surrounded by a community of loving angels who we can literally access through the tips of our fingers. Here's to modern times!
Check out these links to connect you to a bigger world during your healing journey:
Create a website, write journal entries, go mobile or read inspiring stores at Caring Bridge: http://www.caringbridge.org/
Care 2 Make a Difference: The largest online community for healthy living, and more: http://www.care2.com/
Leigh Fortson is the author of the recently released Embrace, Release, Heal: An Empowering Guide to Talking About, Thinking About and Treating Cancer. She lives in Western Colorado with her husband, two children, cats and dogs. Learn more about her or the book at www.embracehealingcancer.com.
© Leigh Fortson
