This is hardly a news flash, but it turns out that men really like women. A lot. How do I know? Earlier this year, I conducted an online survey asking men and women what they like most and least about each other, along with a few other questions.
In a previous post, I shared a few of the things that men find frustrating about women. You can find that here if you’re interested. (And here is the companion piece, "What Women Love About Men").
Today, let’s get to the good stuff. I will also pass on some interesting relationship advice from men. Here, distilled down and in no particular order, are a few of the hundreds of things men told me they love about women.
“Phew. I am not sure if there is enough space here to list everything.”
“What we like: your gentleness, your warmth, and yes, your bodies, and no, they don’t need to be perfect.”
“Women are closer to emotions, and I find that women represent beauty that you just cannot find anywhere else in the world.”
“I can talk to my female friends and be nurtured. Bro’s don’t nurture bro’s. We can talk and we can get deep and very real and practical, but all men come from women. That nurturing that we received as a baby imprints on us, and try as we like, we can’t get away from that.”
“One of the best moments with any woman is the first time you reach out to hold her hand and she reaches out to hold yours.”
“Women need to understand that boys would rather be around them than most anywhere or with anyone else.”
“Their smell, soft skin, tender touch. Sometimes when you look in their eyes you can see all the way to their soul.”
“They can be very kind and aware of the needs of others in a way that would never occur to me. Not that I don’t care about others, it just doesn’t occur to me a lot of the time.”
“I love how they can counterbalance me and help me see things from a different angle. If they are wise, they can make me change my mind when I have become stove-piped in my thinking or actions.”
“And of course, their intelligence. An intelligent girl is worth the world and even more!”
“Compassion, the fact that they do show their emotions more publicly, their intelligence. Oh, and boobies!”
“I enjoy the way they do not fear emotion. I love the way they live with open hearts. It makes them more vulnerable to feeling sad, but it opens them up to feel a level of contentment and joy beyond what I think men can. They just live on the emotional extremes. The ability to have high highs and low lows makes sharing a life with them both exciting and challenging.”
“They’re not men.”
(From a French man): “A stupid thing that is their smile.”
“Everything. The way they look, the way they talk, the way they think, the way they feel.”
“Honestly? Their bodies. Testosterone is a wicked master.”
“I like feeling useful to her.”
“I like that they let me protect, provide for and cherish them.”
“Their bubbliness. Their empathy. Their willingness to love.”
“The best moments I’ve had with a woman is usually doing something really simple, when we feel a good connection and are just really into each other.”
“I love women. They are on the whole great to be with and make good friends as well. I can get things from a woman that other guys can’t give and I am thankful for all the things they do in our lives.”
I could post much more, but I think you get the point. We men are lost without women.
Advice From the Guys
Just like the women, the men offered some practical tips for the opposite sex:
“Women tend to deny every compliment guys give, and it just makes us want to not give them anymore.”
“Trust our answers and stop asking the same question repeatedly.”
“Men need intimacy; men need quiet time; men need to bond with other men.”
“When a woman is proud of you for doing something well, it is a wonderful feeling. I don’t mind working 12 hours a day, but like a good dog, I appreciate a scratch and a ‘good boy’ at the end.... It annoys me sometimes how much I still want her approval, even though I am very successful at work and in other areas.”
“A woman who laughs at my jokes makes me feel good inside.”
“We communicate through our actions more than anything. Women tend to make big deals out of even the smallest wrong said thing, but they should really be focusing on actions. I don’t get how me failing to comment on a haircut overshadows something like taking you out for a night on the town, or an especially emotional gift, or back rubs every night.”
“One woman I know gets it. She told me that after 30 years of marriage, she knows how to make her husband happy: ‘Every so often I cook him a steak and take him up to bed.’ Yes, we really are that simple.”
“We love to help you! We really do. That’s what makes us trust our manly worthiness. Your wishes are our commands. We love when you depend on us.”
I’m conducting this survey as part of my 2014 book, The Women’s Guide to How Men Think: Love, Commitment, and the Male Mind. The survey is still open, and I would love to hear your thoughts. I am especially interested in hearing from more men (guys, go here).
Many thanks to all who have generously participated!
* * * * *
Dr. Smith is a psychologist in Denver
, Colorado and the author of The User’s Guide to the Human Mind: Why Our Brains Make Us Unhappy, Anxious, and Neurotic and What We Can Do about It
. Be sure to follow Shawn on Facebook
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