Ironshrink

How to live with a human mind.

by Shawn T. Smith, Psy.D.

How to Get Your Husband to Help More

By Shawn T. Smith, Psy.D. on January 13, 2012 in Ironshrink

Most men don’t want to feel like children in their marriages, and most women certainly don’t want to feel like mothers to grown men. Yet many couples fall into precisely that pattern. Here's what to do about it. Read More

Great article

Submitted by Anonymous on January 14, 2012 - 8:24am.

Hi Shawn,

great article that is very constructive and effective.

thanks,

reply
quote

Re: Great article

Submitted by Shawn T. Smith, Psy.D. on January 14, 2012 - 8:35am.

Thanks! I certainly hope it's helpful.

reply
quote

guests

Submitted by Anita on January 14, 2012 - 8:38am.

Actually I think that some men act like guests in their own house. As if they should just go to work and not share the duties in running their own household. Well the men need to realize that they are not "guests" and step up and shoulder that burden too! Then women will stop nagging.

reply
quote

re: Guests

Submitted by Shawn T. Smith, Psy.D. on January 14, 2012 - 8:45am.

Hi Anita, I agree that some men are lazy, but this is what I was talking about when I suggested attacking patterns rather that people. The "I'll change after you change" approach fails like clockwork.

I should also be clear that I could write an equally detailed article about habits that men need to change. But let's face it, you don't have to look very hard to find criticisms of men.

In any event, I don't mean this article to be a criticism of women. Far from it. It's just a exploration of a destructive pattern that I see routinely in my clinic, and hopefully it will be useful.

reply
quote

I was in a relationship for 4

Submitted by EJ on January 14, 2012 - 9:00pm.

I was in a relationship for 4 years before I realized that being treated like a child was, in fact, what he wanted. As I am a mediocre mother at best, I figured it would benefit all parties if I just bailed.
:)

reply
quote

Re: I was in a relationship for 4

Submitted by Shawn T. Smith, Psy.D. on January 15, 2012 - 10:37am.

Hi EJ, that is definitely the flip side of the coin. Some men just aren't willing to be full partners in an adult relationship. I'm sorry it didn't work out.