Ironshrink

I have huge trust issues, just in general.

It really helped that the first thing my psychologist told me was that everything was confidential unless he got a written consent from me. Unless, of course, he thought I was in risk of harming myself or others.

The reason I decided to go to a therapist was because I had been having suicidal thoughts and I was getting to a point where I thought I might do something. But when the therapist asked me if I had suicidal thoughts, I said no. I kept saying no for months. I thought that he would immediately have me institutionalized or something.

He's been really patient with me. He doesn't push me to open up when I don't want to talk about something. And now, after a year, I completely trust him. I know I can go in there and say anything at all. I can talk to him about being suicidal and we'll talk about it, and I know he's not going to report me once I walk out the door.

That being said, I've been through 3 psychiatrist and I didn't trust any of them. I feel like they go straight to the point and ask me a huge question. I think "Why should I tell YOU? That's none of your business." Even though it's therapy, it's still a relationship. It has to be built up. I'm not the kind of person who's going to trust a therapist and open up just because that's what I "should" do.

I actually DID ask my therapist why I should trust her. I'd seen two therapists previously, and I didn't trust either of them, and felt that they eventually validated that I couldn't trust them. I don't give trust easily, and never have. My therapist's response was "why shouldn't you? Have I given you a reason to think you can't?" I responded that she hadn't given me a reason not to trust her, but that experience has shown trusting someone isn't safe. So, we started with little things, and worked our way up. She will often bring up the fact that therapy actually relies on mutual trust and will go over things that show we can trust each other. It has helped a lot! Every time I start going back to past experiences as a reason I can't trust, my therapist focuses me back on the experiences I've had specifically with her. After two years, I still check in on that trust...I'll start to talk about something and then ask "I can trust you with this, right?" and that reassurance that yes I can trust her helps me to work through difficult issues.

I have tried therapy before, and it felt very unnatural to have to share with someone and trust them when they've not earned it and aren't sharing much of anything about themselves. Hence, I didn't share much of myself. Tit for tat.

I resolved never to try therapy again when it hit me that I was getting more benefit out of time spent with my dog.

The essential trust issue for the psychotherapeutic patient, in my experience, is that the entire relationship is backwards, both professionally and emotionally.
Things, in their normal progression, begin from a nascent state of unknowing. In essence, we both accept that we stand in positions of relative ignorance with regard to one another. Emotionally, this is summed up as getting to know each other. Professionally, the medical relationship starts with the doctor not knowing what the patient is visiting for and considering the words of the patient to be reflective of the patient's *actual* state of heath.
In a therapy situation, this is completely reversed. When the patient arrives, not only does the therapist have preconceptions about the contents of the patient's personality, but so do the non-medical personnel at the therapy location. The nascent emotional starting point is *not* one of relative ignorance, and therefore there is no opportunity for the patient and doctor to "get to know" one another.
Professionally, the procession is even *more* backwards. Medicine, being a science, relies on the scientific method for determining truth. Facts are gathered and *then* diagnoses are made. Standard operating practice among mental health professionals, however, is to make a diagnosis with little or no evidence, and often after little more patient/therapist communication than an office intake form. This diagnosis, once placed, is highly resistant to revision. A patient/therapist relationship could be ongoing for years without a hint of alteration to the diagnosis, which was made at the very first meeting of the pair.
It is very difficult to place your trust in someone who believes they know the content of your character before they've even laid eyes on you. Especially when nothing you say, even if you keep speaking for years, causes the person you are speaking to to believe anything different about you than what they "knew" the first time they shook your hand. Add to that the patient's already troubled state of being, and the problem is illuminated in a very painful way for everyone involved.
Food for thought.

Hi,

My answer to Shawn Smith is a categoric absolute 'NO' you should NEVER trust any psychologist. And whilst I hold nothing against Mr. Smith personally, I would also like to add that 'NO' you do not deserve our trust.

I won't go in to my problems here but suffice to say I have only ever known mental torture and I have no future. I was friends with one of the most famous psychologists on the planet when she just turned her back on me to concentrate on her TV work. After that I vowed to myself to never open up about my thoughts and feelings to another human ever again. Every day since I have been tortured by this.

Prior to this I had had bad experiences with other mental health people too.

I would strongly and passionately urge any mentally ill person to never trust anybody within the medical profession. They are not in it to help you.

Thank you for listening.

to never trust a therapist: how many people did you see?? but how many people ARE THERE. you got the bad side of them while i have a loyal one who wont turn on me. yeah there are so many people willing to help, it's up to you to find the ones to trust. and to never trust a phycologist, if you dont trust therapists thats fine, there are friends and family ready to help, but some people find it hard to ope up to those people and need a therapit to open up to. im happy with my therapist and there are many good ones.
love danielle.

My therapist of long standing got upset, turned on me and destroyed any chance of my receiving further treatment in the VA system. Medical records are open to need to know and the limitations are few. The loss of trust is much more life threatening than the presenting issues. So, be careful. Ask about the limits of trust up front and don't forget....

they cannot be trusted never.we should never trust them if we do we will make a big mistake i once went to a school phychocoligist and she called me twice and i went to her but i didnt tell her anything but after that i became close to her and told her everything but i didnt knew i was making the biggest mistake of my life!! days passed and i came to know that everyone knew about it my friend, teachers, parents