Intersections

Interracial, intercultural relationships and resilience.

DWB (and DWBWWWP): When Couples Run Silent, Run Deep

Differing interpretations of Driving While Black scenarios can be a source of tension, and silence, in multiracial families. Read More

Maybe you already know this, but....

I think it's worth noting that in many cases, both members of an interracial couple become something new. When I entered into an interracial marriage at a young age in the seventies, I no longer felt white, which wasn't a bad thing - just an elevated level of awareness. The same thing happened to my husband. He was no longer just black. We became our own ethnicity, and socializing with other interracial couples became an extremely gratifying experience for everyone. We were the only ones who "got" that. It was a very rewarding time of life because we felt we were on the cusp of something new - pioneers in a way. I thought it was interesting when we felt compelled to consult a therapist at one point later in our marriage and she couldn't seem to get past the race questions which we were so far beyond by that point. Another one "disqualified" himself from counseling us because he feared he might harbor some internal biases that he wasn't yet aware of. Huh? Thank God, we both were blessed with a sense of humor - that's imperative under the circumstances.

becoming

I appreciate your sharing your story. Yes, indeed, some "helping" professionals, then and now, cannot seem to get past their tendency to push the racial difference button repeatedly when an interracial couple presents in their offices. This difference is essentialized and reified, and unfortunately is framed as "the focus", instead of allowing the clients to share their goals and objectives for their work there, which is a far more collaborative approach. I liked how you talked about how you no longer felt "white" as the two of you embarked on your journey together. When we are with our partners, especially in public spaces, we experience a change in how we are perceived and responded to by strangers, friends, and family, and when we are intimate with our partners for some time, the things that are understood, that our partner really "gets", can grow to the point that a significant raising of consciousness occurs. Thanks for posting your reflections--you never know what folks will share on your blog...!

The White Male Is Doomed

The ultimate agenda is the extermination of the white
male. He is villified as evil incarnate.
White women will continue to go with black men and leave
white men. It will get to a point of prenatle sexual
selection. Pretty white girls will be bread for the black
man's delight,while white guys will be wiped out.

:-)

God is good!

ha ha

well,dream on...if anything white males are abandoning white women in droves for asian women (and latinas)and this is no surprise given the cancer known as the feminist movement and all of the various detriments to society it has wrought.

The F Word

I do not encourage my students to quote extensively from the dictionary, or Wikipedia, but here is a definition of feminism from the latter source: "Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending a state of equal political, economic, cultural, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment."

Equality, and equity, sound pretty good to me.

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Kyle D. Killian, Ph.D., LMFT teaches in the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at Capella University, and is a licensed couple and family therapist and clinical supervisor.
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