Let's face it, most of the specific information learned in college is forgotten soon after graduation. And ten years from now, nobody, including you, will remember your grades. Your future employers don't care about your grades, or much about your major, for that matter; just ask all those physics majors at Princeton that are going straight to Wall Street after graduation. Your future employers care that you've demonstrated enough focus, discipline, maturity, commitment and mental resilience to stay at it for four years. That kind of tenacity is what you demonstrate by graduating.

The big moments don't matter much. The quality of your marriage has nothing to do with how expensive, lavish, or well-photographed your wedding happened to be. It has everything to do with your daily habits of coexisting with and relating to your partner. Your success and happiness in general depend much on your daily habits and routines. If you brush and floss everyday for five minutes, you will in the long term save your teeth, and maybe your heart as well. Brushing and flossing for five hours once a year will not do the trick. So focus on developing sound daily habits of work, study, and self-care.

Don't dream big, and don't aim for the stars. Contrary to what you've heard, big dreams do not characteristically produce high achievement. In fact, high achievers tend to dream at the middle distance. They focus on a target that is challenging, but possible with effort. Once there, they can turn their eyes to the next step. Let your dreams grow gradually along with your skill level.

Walk toward your problems, not away from them. In the old story, a kid plays near the railroad tracks. Suddenly, he hears a whistle and before he can react, a train runs over his hand, cutting off a few of his fingers. Years later, that kid--now an adult--is visiting with friends. Suddenly he hears the whistling teapot in the kitchen. He rushes over, grabs the teapot and smashes it on the floor. To his astonished friends he explains:"You have to stop them when they're little!" College problems are pretty much inevitable, and they need to be addressed early, before they turn from teapots into trains.

Relax, you're not that special. American culture is quite oppressed by this notion that worth is derived from uniqueness. People who want to flatter you or make you feel better often tell you how special you are. But in the big scheme of things, odds are you're not special at all. And if you define self worth as being special, you're not likely to find much true worth. Moreover, in a culture where everyone is special, being special loses its special meaning. Instead, recognize that you are much more like everybody than you are unlike anyone. Recognize that the fact you're not special is not a bad thing. It means you're not alone; you have affinities with many others, from which strength and pleasure can be derived. It also means that if you have a question in class, you should not worry that you're the only one who has it. Odds are many other students have the same question, and they will appreciate you representing their interests by asking it.

Don't follow your passion. Many students believe that the route to success is to follow their passion. However, your passion may not become clear to you until later in life. And passions are often shifting, as your doomed high school romance has surely taught you. It's better to follow your aptitude. Even if you have a clear passion, following it is only one half of the equation. If you have a passion for dancing, but are clumsy, then you will not make a successful career in that field. What you need is to find something you love and are also good at-or can become good. In other words, within the area of your passion, find your area of greatest aptitude, and aim your efforts there.

Think about what not to do. Someone asked the late great jazz trumpet player Miles Davis about the secret of playing good jazz. "It's not what you play that matters," Davis said, "it's what you don't play." Similarly, success in college depends not only on what you do (homework, papers, parties, pizza), but also on what you don't do (steal your boyfriend's Ritalin to stay up two days in a row cramming for finals; download term papers from the internet; hurl on police officer's shoes; binge anything). You get the drift. If you don't throw many interceptions, you can win the game even without making big plays.

Everything worth doing is worth doing half-assed. The great singer/songwriter Leonard Cohen wrote:

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in

In other words, learn to love imperfection. Your failure at perfection is as guaranteed as your failure to sprout wings. In fact, it's no failure at all. It's humanity. Don't beat yourself up for your mistakes, failures or occasional fatigue. Accept and honor your humanity above all; of all the possible reasons for your mistakes and failures-most of which will remain unknown, unverifiable, or untrue--your humanity is the one indisputable cause.

We tend to protect what we value. If you devalue yourself, you will not improve-in fact, you are more likely to descend into a cycle of self-loathing and neglect. It's useful to imagine what a good parent would say to a young child who had just failed at something. Would the good parent call the child stupid? Would they beat the child up? So don't do that to yourself either. Parent yourself well.

Don't study too much. Your professors are surely right in emphasizing to you the importance of working hard and acquiring knowledge. But here's a secret your professors may not tell you: We all die stupid. Nobody goes out having figured the thing out. I often tell my students that if they have all A's, they are studying too much. A big part of college is learning how to get along with other people and make good social connections. So socialize; party; travel. Contrary to myth (often spread by your professors) play is not a frivolous activity. It is essential for mental health and well being. Pound for pound, socializing is the most bang you can get for your time-investment buck. In research, social engagement is one of the solid consistent predictors of school success (along with general cognitive ability, achievement motivation, academic skills, and self efficacy). Social involvement also carries long-term dividends. Your college friends are much more likely to be lifelong than your high school friends.