Insight Therapy

Psychologically-informed reflections on how we interact.

by Noam Shpancer, Ph.D.

The Lady (or Gent) in the Street and the Freak in the Bed

Our desire for a stable, harmonious relationship with a safe, trustworthy partner is difficult to reconile with our erotic imagination, which is often sparked by danger, surprise, and conflict. Read More

Why Do We Have Sex?

Many seemingly simple questions are, on close inspection, not at all easy to answer. One of these—perhaps the most interesting—is why we have sex. Read More

Your G-Spot Is Not in Your Head

Like God, the G-spot is difficult to either conclusively pinpoint or convincingly refute. Scientists—and lovers everywhere—are on the case. And regardless of where it ends, the search itself is a valuable experience. Read More

What Sexy Is

The American concept of sexy is to true sexiness what Hallmark greeting cards are to deep human emotion. Yet it is possible to find sexy moments on the web–mysterious, subtle, original, and alive. Here is a sampling of sexy web finds, clips that capture–for me–the slippery, intoxicating essence of what sexy is. Read More

Faking Orgasm

Women--and men, it turns out--fake orgasms quite frequently. But they don't do so randomly, thoughtlessly, or by accident. As science reveals when, why, and how people fake their orgasms, it sheds light on the intricate and often unconscious system of rules and expectations that guides our sexual interactions. Read More

Don't Dream Big

Going to college, you are surrounded by platitudinous clichés about how special and smart you are, how you should study hard, follow your passion, and aim for the stars. In other words, you are in dire need of a reality check. For some tips that will actually be helpful, check out the following list. Read More

For Sound Mental Health, Choose Your Metaphors Wisely

Your mental health resiliency and sense of yourself are strongly shaped by the metaphors you use and the type of questions you ask. Read More

What's Occupying the 'Occupy Wall Street' Protesters?

Underneath the disorderly, carnival-like surface, Occupy Wall Street protesters are raging against an old nemesis of social order: unfairness; they're just doing it 21st century style. Read More

Women and Selfishness

Women in particular appear vulnerable to the trap of confusing self-care with selfishness. But self-care is not selfish. In fact, it's necessary for our ability to care well for others. Read More

Dealing with Childhood Trauma in Adult Therapy: Facts and Follies

While the notion that early trauma may be linked to psychological and behavioral problems in adult life is rather old news, recent work has refined our understanding of this link in two major ways. Read More

Web Gems: 10 Great Short Clips that Illustrate Psychological Principles

Psychology lives on the web. Watch these ten funny and illuminating video clips illustrating important psychological concepts. Read More

Male and Female: The Overlapping Curves

In the popular media, and popular opinion, a contest has been waging for some time between two opposing views of the gender landscape. Which one is right? Read More

Who's Minding the Children?

A funny new bestselling book sheds light on a familiar and time honored, albeit mostly unspoken, aspect of parenting: rage. But does it also reveal something unique about today's parents? Read More

How does that make you feel? Looking at the value of college through the prism of therapy

In the debate over the usefulness of college, the greatest concern seems to be whether or not students are acquiring skills and whether we know how to measure the rate and scope of this aquisition. While these are important, But while skills are important, we should not overlook the importance of the college experience. Read More

Seven Tips for Writing a Good Paper

For teachers, reading bad essays is like living on a diet of junk food: they may feel sick, guilty and angry, and think they may die. Students, too, suffer when they write badly because they get bad grades, which they usually don't enjoy. The writing principles outlined here should, therefore, help both groups feel better. Read More

Bin Laden Is Dead: Cue the Cheerleaders

There are lessons in the Bin Laden spectacle, not for his followers--fanatics by definition are not big on learning--but for us. Contrary to popular sentiment, the lessons do not speak very well of us. For our president, it was a missed opportunity. Read More

Not Dark Yet: Bob Dylan at 70

Once in a while one wishes to take a break from the brokenness of life and turn one's mind to the goodness of it--its delicate pleasures; the art, the music, the poetry. To my mind, no other person in the last half-century has contributed as much in this realm as one Robert Zimmerman. Read More

The Sex You Cannot Speak Of

Wherever you turn everyone seems to be happy to talk about sex, and even to have some. But there is one kind of sex you are not allowed to talk about, let alone admit you are having. Read More

The Madness of March Madness

Basketball fans often celebrate the "streaky shooter" who gets "in the zone" and has "the hot hand." Alas, psychological research shows these notions to be an illusion. Read More

Social Contagion in The Middle East

One of the most striking human adaptations is how powerfully compelled we are to learn from, and teach, each other. Read More

Our Murky Crystal Ball

As recent events in the Middle East show, our ability to predict the future is dismal. Yet our failures at the task don't seem to diminish our enthusiasm for it, or our self confidence. Read More

Soldier ≠ Hero

In the popular imagination, 'soldier' is often equated with 'hero.' But the equation is problematic, and we pay a heavy price for endorsing it. Read More

The future of therapy: A unified treatment approach

From the beginning, clinical psychology has been characterized by a diversity of approaches. But a field that splinters constantly may devolve into incoherence. Now, an attempt at integration may change the way therapy is practiced. Read More

Top 9 Things We Could Do Without in the New Year, But Probably Won't

The dawn of The New Year is traditionally an occasion for all sort of useless list making. In that spirit, here's a random, incomplete list of the Top 9 (yes, nine; get out of the box and live a little) things we could do without in the next year, but will probably have to endure anyway. Read More

Framing: Your Most Important and Least Recognized Daily Mental Activity

A crucial mental activity, a contest of sorts, is continuously going on inside your mind. Its consequences for how you live cannot be overstated. And yet, you are hardly ever aware of it. Read More

You are a conformist (that is, you are human)

Conformity has a bad reputation as the refuge of the weak and root of all evil, while nonconformity and rugged individualism are held in high regard. But conformity is necessary for our survival and success. Rugged individualism is largely a myth, and cannot counter the pitfalls conformity presents. Recognizing you can't escape conformity may help you avoid its downside. Read More

Letter to a young (sexual) person

Let me tell you something that the elders around you are too polite or afraid to tell you: Your sex life isn't any good. This is not bad news. Actually, it's good news, since it means that you have a journey ahead; an adventure; a mission possible, should you choose to accept it. Read More

The Shalit Conundrum

Gilad Shalit, an Israeli soldier, was captured in 2006 by Hamas militants in a cross-border raid. In exchange for his release, Hamas has demanded the release of more than 1,000 prisoners. A fierce debate has been raging in Israel ever since about whether the government should stand firm or relent. Read More

Why You Should Relax About Relaxation

People respond in myriad ways to being told to ‘relax,' but relaxing is not commonly one of them. Being ordered to relax, by others or by oneself, is like being ordered to have an erection, right now! Certain things cannot be willed; they need to be invited and allowed. Read More

Action Creates Emotion

Many people believe that the relationship between emotion and behavior is one-way: emotion leads to behavior. You love him, therefore you kiss him. This belief is incorrect. In fact, more often than not, behavior leads to emotion. Want to love him? Start kissing him. Read More