In the wake of the publication of “Truth and Consequences: Life Inside the Madoff Family”, there has been much speculation as to whether Ruth Madoff knew about her husband’s Ponzi scheme that defrauded investors, including friends of the Madoffs, of millions of dollars. Married to her husband Bernie for more than a half century, Ms. Madoff has stated that she knew nothing of his financial crimes and had no idea what a Ponzi scheme even is. Although she has not been charged with any illegal act, incredulity has been expressed that she could have been in the dark about what Bernie was engaged in, especially since she benefited in terms of her lifestyle.

I have no more information on this particular situation than anyone else who reads the papers. However, after spending 41 years interviewing and evaluating offenders, I do know with complete certainty that, in many cases, the family is the last to know. Criminals get away with their offenses for years, even decades, precisely because they are so skilled at hiding not only what they do, but who they really are.

I have had stunned, grieving, and angry family members tell me of their disillusionment when they finally learned that a spouse, a son, a parent or someone else whom they thought they knew intimately they really didn’t know at all. One accomplished gentleman, a “family man,” who held a high position in government regularly set out from home to “run errands” but actually was out in parks and at playgrounds hunting for places to expose himself to females who passed by. Another who was a successful real estate broker explained to his wife that he had to go out at night to entertain clients. Actually, he was going to clubs, making connections to buy drugs, then selling to customers. The examples are endless of highly intelligent and successful men and women who earn the trust of others, especially their families. They have pleasant personalities, may be community leaders, and appear to be role models for others to emulate.