Consumers of popular lore and many adherents to contemporary sociological thinking believe that affiliation with a street gang is psychologically motivated, at least in part, by a desire to belong to the family the individual never had while growing up. Ostensibly, the gang offers support, sustenance, acceptance, and a structure that the youngster lacked at home. Gangs offer a hierarchy of leadership and a path to gain approval and achieve success. In a highly structured gang, one can "earn" one's way and gain a sense of belonging, status, and power. Sociological determinists have contended that gang membership constitutes an understandable, even "normal," means of adapting to circumstances that are bleak, if not seemingly hopeless. If this were true, everyone who lives in an impoverished, decaying, and otherwise brutal environment would join gangs.

In nearly forty years of research and clinical practice, what has impressed me far more than the environment from which people come is how they choose to deal with whatever their circumstances are. In almost every instance of my interviewing a gang member, that person had siblings or neighbors living nearby who faced similar or even worse adversities and were confronted by the same temptations but chose to react differently. Though their home life was riddled with instability, poverty, and violence, they sought no "comfort" in the world of gangs. Contrary to what gang members tell others when held accountable, most were not coerced into joining gangs. They had to indicate their availability and interest.  Seeking excitement that their peers and school did not offer, they sought out other, usually older, youths and did their utmost to demonstrate that they could be trusted. Some gangs require engaging in elaborate,often violent, initiation rites so that the prospective member can prove that he is tough enough to merit acceptance. Not everyone in the neighborhood desires to participate. As one man remarked, 'Us kinds find each other."